That's it ...
Well, I have had enough!! I am not mad ... I am tired and just fed up.
I have had enough of so many things.
I have had enough of:
1)Work ... it has been good and interesting and different and I am learning more and more to appreciate the profession I am entering into but I am sick of:
Dodgy rude a##hole doctors, nurses who make you feel like a cockroach about to be stepped on, patients who rip your head off because you just don't know what time their surgery will be, and of not knowing enough - I should know more! I am scared of all the responsiblity that I will HAVE to take on when I grad!
2)Dorm life ... I figured out the other day that between Chris, Kristin, and myself there is over 20 yrs that have been spent in dorms! Granted I have not had the most time in the dorms but I am the only one who hasn't left yet!! And I want to ... my personal experience is 6.5yrs in different dorms!!! I am sick of the lack of privacy, the sharing of things like the computer room or the TV room, I am sick of the shared bathrooms and vaccum cleaner (which is ALWAYS away being used or fixed), I am sick of pp talking on the phone while they are in the computer room, I am sick of pp baking wonderful smelling things which make your mouth water yet you can't actually have any, I am sick of having to carry all my thigns to the bathroom everytime I want to have a shower/bath, I am just sick of it. What is incredible is that I have been given two opportunities to move out and I haven't taken either one!!!! I don't have a licence, a car or the money to rent a place within safe walking distance of the hospital!!! BUt when I do ... I am gone!!!
3) Not enough food in my cupboard ... that is my own fault ... too much work and too tired to be bothered. I have finally finished all the great food left over from the wedding!! :D
4) Assignments ... not that I have started any but I have so many coming up soon ... anxiety in ICU, assessing certain procedures, ehtics essay, getting my proposal in for my clinical elective, organising clinical in PNG, and then exams, and three interviews (I was suppose to only have two but the silly hospital thinks they will be making less work for themselves if they do a phone interview (in their words "to check out our English" - what the hell does that mean?) and an actual face-to-face interview. And the interveiws are int he week of and the week after our exams!!!
5) Not socialising ... I crave to be back on my holiday ... with the biggest stress was the social dynamics of everyone surrounding the wedding ... family, friends, extended family, strangers who are becoming friends etc. I crave to be back on my roadtrip down and up the Australian East Coast. To just go into the city and take photos and to walk and to shop and to socialise. I think i just need to go and see my friends at Avondale. I miss them too. :(
6) My computer not working ... I mean Word and everything works fine but my sound has gone and my mouse won't work anymore. I am hoping it is just having a mood (like me) and will get over it soon enough. Enough things to think about already without adding a silly computer to them.
7) Obsessing .. of things that I can't get out of my head. Of silly mistakes I made at work or out of work. Of mulling things over and over and over and over. ARGH!!! So crap! I hate over analysing everything from every angle. :(
8) Being sick of things ... I know I am just tired. I will be fine. Sabbath is coming up soon and I will get to sleep and relax and hang out with great friends. I just need to recover from bad shifts, shift work, and stress. :) I just need to pamper myself a bit :D I just need to look after myself a bit ... which is why I am no longer doing shifts this weekend ... I would not cope. I mean, I almost starting crying the other night when I had to restrain a 7yr old boy who had been sedated and was having a lumbar puncture. I had to hold his shoulder and his arms down while he was crying out in pain and fighting against me. To fight against my patient who is in pain is such a hard thing for me to do. I knew that if I started crying, the mother would start and basically the last thing the Dr needs is a bunch of pp crying while he does an extremely dangerous procedure. But to be that close to tears really told me that I needed to just relax. Stop working and just relax. So I am.
Sorry that I just vented ... I didn't actually plan for all that to come out. I do feel better, tho. :D Thanks for listening. Much appreciated just being able to let it all out. :) I think i will go listen to nice relaxing music, get a good book, grab some chocolate and water and chill. :D I need it. :D
Hope you are doing well. And life isn't too stressful for you. :) Bye
I have had enough of so many things.
I have had enough of:
1)Work ... it has been good and interesting and different and I am learning more and more to appreciate the profession I am entering into but I am sick of:
Dodgy rude a##hole doctors, nurses who make you feel like a cockroach about to be stepped on, patients who rip your head off because you just don't know what time their surgery will be, and of not knowing enough - I should know more! I am scared of all the responsiblity that I will HAVE to take on when I grad!
2)Dorm life ... I figured out the other day that between Chris, Kristin, and myself there is over 20 yrs that have been spent in dorms! Granted I have not had the most time in the dorms but I am the only one who hasn't left yet!! And I want to ... my personal experience is 6.5yrs in different dorms!!! I am sick of the lack of privacy, the sharing of things like the computer room or the TV room, I am sick of the shared bathrooms and vaccum cleaner (which is ALWAYS away being used or fixed), I am sick of pp talking on the phone while they are in the computer room, I am sick of pp baking wonderful smelling things which make your mouth water yet you can't actually have any, I am sick of having to carry all my thigns to the bathroom everytime I want to have a shower/bath, I am just sick of it. What is incredible is that I have been given two opportunities to move out and I haven't taken either one!!!! I don't have a licence, a car or the money to rent a place within safe walking distance of the hospital!!! BUt when I do ... I am gone!!!
3) Not enough food in my cupboard ... that is my own fault ... too much work and too tired to be bothered. I have finally finished all the great food left over from the wedding!! :D
4) Assignments ... not that I have started any but I have so many coming up soon ... anxiety in ICU, assessing certain procedures, ehtics essay, getting my proposal in for my clinical elective, organising clinical in PNG, and then exams, and three interviews (I was suppose to only have two but the silly hospital thinks they will be making less work for themselves if they do a phone interview (in their words "to check out our English" - what the hell does that mean?) and an actual face-to-face interview. And the interveiws are int he week of and the week after our exams!!!
5) Not socialising ... I crave to be back on my holiday ... with the biggest stress was the social dynamics of everyone surrounding the wedding ... family, friends, extended family, strangers who are becoming friends etc. I crave to be back on my roadtrip down and up the Australian East Coast. To just go into the city and take photos and to walk and to shop and to socialise. I think i just need to go and see my friends at Avondale. I miss them too. :(
6) My computer not working ... I mean Word and everything works fine but my sound has gone and my mouse won't work anymore. I am hoping it is just having a mood (like me) and will get over it soon enough. Enough things to think about already without adding a silly computer to them.
7) Obsessing .. of things that I can't get out of my head. Of silly mistakes I made at work or out of work. Of mulling things over and over and over and over. ARGH!!! So crap! I hate over analysing everything from every angle. :(
8) Being sick of things ... I know I am just tired. I will be fine. Sabbath is coming up soon and I will get to sleep and relax and hang out with great friends. I just need to recover from bad shifts, shift work, and stress. :) I just need to pamper myself a bit :D I just need to look after myself a bit ... which is why I am no longer doing shifts this weekend ... I would not cope. I mean, I almost starting crying the other night when I had to restrain a 7yr old boy who had been sedated and was having a lumbar puncture. I had to hold his shoulder and his arms down while he was crying out in pain and fighting against me. To fight against my patient who is in pain is such a hard thing for me to do. I knew that if I started crying, the mother would start and basically the last thing the Dr needs is a bunch of pp crying while he does an extremely dangerous procedure. But to be that close to tears really told me that I needed to just relax. Stop working and just relax. So I am.
Sorry that I just vented ... I didn't actually plan for all that to come out. I do feel better, tho. :D Thanks for listening. Much appreciated just being able to let it all out. :) I think i will go listen to nice relaxing music, get a good book, grab some chocolate and water and chill. :D I need it. :D
Hope you are doing well. And life isn't too stressful for you. :) Bye
posted by blue nurse | 6:01 AM
1 Comments:
Wow, that's quite the comprehensive list there! I'm quite impressed...
I AM alive by the way - I've kind of been in a self imposed isolation from society recently. Hopefully you aren't offended... ;) I DO miss you and I've enjoyed looking through photos a lot.
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