blue nurse

Shaz

2007-11-14T05:20:00.000-08:00

It is really is a strange feeling growing up. Sometimes I feel like I am still a little kid playing dress ups and trying to be an adult. Most of the time, I am faking it just trying to make it.

I was discussing with an old highschool friend which one of our friends we thought would get pregnant first ... and apart from one who is married (& it has been confirmed, that she is not overly interested in having children), I supposely am in the running for being second (only one other friend has a steady boyfriend ... in all honestly, I am putting my money on her ... they have been going out tons longer!). KIDS?!?! ME?!?!?

I mean, I have always thought, yeah, one day ... but that is exactly it ... ONE DAY IN THE FUTURE!! I don't think marriage or sex is where i am at, at the moment. I mean, don't get me wrong ... I don't view these things as bad ... one day I plan to do all of them but again that is ONE DAY!!

But then I stop and think ... I don't live with my parents, I drive a car & have a licence, I support myself, I organise my life, I stand up for my rights, I am totally and utterly independent. I am an adult. I am 22 years old. I have lived in many different countries. I have jumped out of planes. I have rockclimbed. I have had many different experiences. I am an independent adult who knows what she likes and what she doesn't.

But I still think I won't have marriage, sex, or kids anytime in the super near future. ;p No matter how adult I am, ONE DAY is not today. :D

My life's update!

2007-09-18T17:30:00.000-07:00

Well, a lot has happened since my last post ... a lot!! I will try to be quick! :D

- I got a boyfriend ... his name is Michael & he is FANASTIC!! :D We celebrated our 5th month anniversary the other week (yep, it really is that long since I last posted!). Michael is really smart -- he has to be an engineer (or studying to be one, anyway) :D You can check out photos of my man at myspace site! :D

- I got my driver's licence ... it only took two tries and I really really love driving ... it was so scary driving by myself when I first did it! :D

- I have a car - a beautiful Toyota Corolla '91 hatchback, 5 door that has been looked after so very well & I got a really good deal on it from a friend from church :D I have named this beautiful car Jessie Peanut - in memory of the last owner & because it is cute like the peanuts that I love! :D

- I have joined Karate (Michael is a Red belt & his sister, Liesl is the sensai - teacher) and am a White bealt with a yellow tip ... it is lots of fun ... even went in my first tourament & competed against 40+ females that were 2 belts higher than me ... because all other white and yellow belts my age were chicken!! :D

- I have joined Latino Dancing lessons ... a group of us go once a week and I love it ... the timing catches me out some times but I love dancing. And Latino style is so sexy :D Learn a bit of Salsa and other great great sexy dancing! :D

- I am trying to be more involved at church ... have helped out at a garage sale, a couple of youth social events & will be hosting my very own social event at my house in roughly a month's time ... 70s night with great food, games, & prizes for the best dressed!! :D

- My New Grad program is almost over ... 4 months to go!!! :( It is really scary!! Now I really have to figure out what I want to do with my life!! I have worked in a Surgical ward - neurosurgery (ah, no!), Medical ward - oncology (ah, no!), and Cardiac Cath Lab (ah no!) and will be going to Day Surgery in a month's time! Basically, I have learnt tons and tons this past year but have not found my deep desire and passion for a particular area of nursing!! It is kinda depressing!! All I know is that I don't want to work weekends ... I can't stand shift work and I would prefer if my patients were long term patients but then I also am kinda interested in the whole triage nursing and helping out in emergency situations!! And I am kinda interested in mental health, sexual health, aged care ... Ahhh!! What is kinda frustrating is that I need to find a job in my current hospital for just one for year because I had a two year scholarship!! And I have no deep desire to go anyway ... I am just looking for a job that challenges me, is interesting, doesn't have shiftwork, has a great supportive team, and I don't have to be locked into it for my entire life!! I am even thinking of going back to uni ... but to study what ... I have no idea!! This past year I have just cancelled out things more than pick something I love ... it is going to be a slow process ... with at least 70 different jobs avaliable in nursing, I can assure you that this will not be the last time i will complain about this! :D

- I have been to Melbourne for Bonnie's mum's wedding & Michael meet majority of my melbourne friends & life :D Lots of fun!! :D Awesome roadtrip home!! :D

- My folks came to visit which was awesome!! :D Didn't see them as much as I normally do as i had work commitments but it was still great!

- Went to Canberra for an Adventist Students Society event ... very cold but got to dress up at a Snow Ball which was lots of fun!! :D It was a fun weekend & got to meet lots of Michael's friends from SASS :D

- Will be going hiking in a few weeks with the church pathfinders .... my first time hiking in 4 or 5 yrs!! Hope I can still read a map!! but it should be fun!! :D

- I have been a bit sick lately ... I think in total I have been sick three times in the past two months!! I am sick at the moment ... I have lost my voice ... today is the 4th day in a row, that my voice is missing!! I normally enjoy how strange my voice sounds but 4 days is total crap!! :( I don't know what is up with me ... maybe it is the cold house I live in, or the fact work is really crap and I don't like it and this is my body's way of telling that stress is not healthy, or maybe I am just not eating well enough! i just don't know! :(

- Oh, and I moved out of the dorms into a cold house :D Nice walking distance to work, and pretty spacious ... pretty cold housemates on the whole ... a few household maintenance things to do ... Kylie and I had so much fun decorating & Michael has been a fanastic handy man and has taught me how to fix concrete stairs & install sensor solar lights etc. :D (Did I mention that my boyfriend is fanastic!?)

And I would say that is about it ... my life is going pretty well at the moment ... it is just my health and my work that is a bit worrying :P Catch ya later

The day from hell!

2007-05-10T03:40:00.000-07:00

Well, I got up this morning quite tired as I had worked quite hard yesterday, had a chiropractor appointment & then led out in cell ... yep, definiately was tired.

Had handover and then hit the ward.

As I was getting myself organised ... a couple of things happened:
a doctor rang and wanted his paitent to have a CT abdo instead of a Xray abdo & wanted me to organise it
a patient complained of shortness of breath (very serous complaint)
a confused lady wanted to pass urine yet was quite shaky on her feet & had a bit of pain on her hip & therefore the assistant got her a pan
I had a patient due to be transfered to a Nursing Home & had transport booked at 1000hrs therefore needed showering, feeding, packing & paperwork ... all to be organised at least by 0930hrs in case transport came early
another patient complained of pain yet was Nil by Mouth therefore needed to have panadol put up by IV
A patient had an extensive complaint about the fact she had to share a room with a lady she thought of as a pig ... snoring, burbing etc. throughout the past two days
The lady who one of the assistants put on the pan to pass urine climbed out of bed, put the pan on the floor & stood over the pan to pass urine & then got stuck in that position .. yep, she was confused!!
A wardsman came to pick up my lady who was going for the CT abdo ... and I realised that I hadn't changed the test she was going to have ... she was booked for a X-ray & I hadn't changed it after I got the phone call from the Dr ... therefore the X-ray had to be cancelled and her abdo CT had to be booked .. for later in the shift
One of my ladies went for a Renal Ultrasound (things did need to be done to prep for it!)
The lady who had the IV panadol up was also confused & starting saying things like the panadol was giving her diarhoea ... in other words, she soiled her bed & needed to have a second shower & second bed change!!
One of patient stated that a man from the hospital trasnport service came and saw her & introduced himself to her as he would be the man driving her to the Rehab Hospital today - the patient freaked out as she thought she was going tomorrow (as she just had surgery yesterday!!), the Rehab Hospital rang to check if she was coming & the Dr came to review ... thankfully she was staying another night but there was at least 1/2hr down the drain.
Then all of the sudden, the confused lady (the one who stood over her pan) starting crying after her shower complaining of pain in her hip (which made me wonder if we really should have gotten her up for a shower!) & we had to call the doctor to get an order of morphine for her which helped settle her a lot
And one of the patients who had blood in her stool last night needed to have stool speciems obtained and send to Pathology ... all morning I was waiting for this ... but did get it in the end!! Thankfully, this patient is NOT confused! :)

Basically, nothing was flowing nicely at all ... then 2 major things (even tho I do realise they are minor things really!) happened ... I was suppose to have 2 assistants this morning (sharing them with other RNs, of course!). One I knew from yesterday and we managed to sort out our working relationship & she worked quite well with me today ... the other one I had never meet ... but all of a sudden I found her in the room showering the patient who was due for a discharge to a Nursing Home ... I introduced myself & ensured I did the careful wording of "so, we are working in a team today" instead "so, YOU are working for ME, today, huh?" yet she took one look at me (I could almost see her mind tick over as she took in how young I was & I am positive she recognised me from when I was a student nurse on this ward) & ended up being really rude to me stating things like "I don't know!! I am being shared between three teams so you are expect too much of me today!! Oh, and so you know for next time, I was only allocated 1hr to you so I only shower 1 patient for you. This patient is the only patient I will shower ... don't ask me to do any more! SOMEONE ELSE told me he was being transferred today!! I have showered him so don't TALK TO ME!!" (that last bit was later on, when I stopped her & asked her how she was going with all her patients & if she was holding up ok!!!! Good grief!!!)

The second major (yet minor) issue happened at 0930 when an high and mightly clinical specialist nurse (sounds all technical but basically, her nursing is narrowed into a specific field!) came into my patient's room and found the patient still in bed. She was then quite rude to me in re: to why this patient had not been mobilisied after her surgery (as in this particular surgery, the patient needs to start mobilising straight away!) & why she was still in bed! (BY THE WAY, ANY NURSE WHO HAS EVER WORKED ON THE WARD KNOWS THAT IT IS A MIRACLE IF YOU HAVE ALL, AND I MEAN ALL, YOUR PATIENTS UP & SHOWERED BY 0930!!!). Thankfully, the team leader came around just then to help hand out the DD (Dangerous Drugs) Drugs (e.g. morphine etc.) & this RUDE lady demonstrated her attitude to her ... stating the patient had no pain so she didn't need to be on such strong pain relief (Um, lady, it is the Dr's call to cease such strong pain relief ... there could be potential terrible results if we suddenly took this patient off her pain relief!). My team leader was great - stating the patient wasn't in pain as she was taking this pain relief etc. But I was so offended & upset ... this dear patient, I have looked after for the past week & I have always gotten her up for a walk & mobilised her & she had just complained of pain a bit earlier so I said we might wait till she has had her DD med & then get her up for a shower then which was fine with the patient (it is called implementing good time management!). I was so upset that this stupid lady was indicating that I was not caring for my patient (my favourite patient) well enough ... I just starting crying & since I couldn't leave the team leader with the DD meds (policy to have 2 RNs at all times with the trolley) I ended up crying in front of the patient ... her grabbing my hand & saying things like "I didn't get you into trouble, did I, dear? You are such a wonderful nurse! I love you looking after me" was wonderful but just didn't help stop the tears! I just had to leave the ward then and there! :(

Thankfully, I have a good relationship with the Educator & we had morning tea together & once people knew I was just having a shitty day, I had a fair bit of support ... still hard going & it just didn't seem to stop .... things not working out etc. It was terrible!!

Even the hope that my hope that I would lose a patient since he was being transferred to a Nursing Home didn't happen ... when the ambulance came to pick him up, they couldn't wake him up ... really really unresponsive & his level of consciousness had dropped ... had to do obs, BSL (blood sugar level - just in case!), and then the CMO (Dr on call, basically) came & reviewed him & decided that he wouldn't be discharged & he needed to have bloods taken, a CT of the brain to be booked & an ECG (test of the heart basically) done. I then needed to run to the heard ward & borrow the ECG machine & take this patient's ECG ... I did it with the Educator but somehow we only printed out half the ECG ... so when the CMO came around a bit later, we needed to redo the ECG (meaning, running back to the heart ward, reborrowing the machine, and reconnecting the machine to 10 different leads!!) & then it just wouldn't read one of the leads!!! I grabbed the team leader & the educator to help me ... & they ended up needing to call Clinical Support & sending me for lunch (as it was almost 2pm!) The ECG did end up being done but WOW!! It was just a bit crazy!

And basically, that was my day (normally, there are meds, showers, obs, meds, obs, and maybe some tests) - a truly BAD day! I am thankful that I only had to stay 1/2hr late ... and that is mainly because of the ward staff meeting we had after lunch!

So, yes, I cried! AGAIN!! And yes! I had to learn to get along with a huge variety of people!! And i had to learn how to ask for help & care for myself as well as 6 other people! Let me tell you one thing, nursing is a truly draining job!! It is hard. It is tiring. It is demanding.

But as the cleaner pointed out today - it is the sort of job you need to have a passion for. And I guess this year, is the year where I find out if I have a passion for nursing. It is the trials that test my passion. And i pray that I continue to be so determined & stubborn to have a passion for nursing & force myself to return to work after having shitty days like today.

Anyway, that was my day - just wanted to share - it has been a while since I had a good BITCH!! :D

Oh, but my favourite patient is discharging tomorrow & I said goodbye to her at the end of my shift & both her & her sister gave me hugs & said the nicest things about my nursing ... at least, the shift ended on a good note, huh? :D

Thanks for listening to my vent & rant & rave! :D

The world is not a nice place.

2007-05-06T20:45:00.001-07:00

I just came across a trailer for a movie called "The Road to Guantanamo" & the trailer alone made me cry. It about three British muslims who get kidnapped & taken to Guantanamo without trial or conviction. Check it out here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbCXyjd7hjc

Whatever happened to Human Rights?

Universal Declaration of Human Rights
http://www.un.org/Overview/rights.html

Article 1.
All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.

Article 2.
Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. Furthermore, no distinction shall be made on the basis of the political, jurisdictional or international status of the country or territory to which a person belongs, whether it be independent, trust, non-self-governing or under any other limitation of sovereignty.

Article 3.
Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.

Article 4.
No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms.

Article 5.
No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

Article 6.
Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law.

Article 7.
All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination.

Article 8.
Everyone has the right to an effective remedy by the competent national tribunals for acts violating the fundamental rights granted him by the constitution or by law.

Article 9.
No one shall be subjected to arbitrary arrest, detention or exile.

Article 10.
Everyone is entitled in full equality to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal, in the determination of his rights and obligations and of any criminal charge against him.

Article 11.
(1) Everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law in a public trial at which he has had all the guarantees necessary for his defence.
(2) No one shall be held guilty of any penal offence on account of any act or omission which did not constitute a penal offence, under national or international law, at the time when it was committed. Nor shall a heavier penalty be imposed than the one that was applicable at the time the penal offence was committed.

Article 12.
No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.

Article 13.
(1) Everyone has the right to freedom of movement and residence within the borders of each state.
(2) Everyone has the right to leave any country, including his own, and to return to his country.

Article 14.
(1) Everyone has the right to seek and to enjoy in other countries asylum from persecution.
(2) This right may not be invoked in the case of prosecutions genuinely arising from non-political crimes or from acts contrary to the purposes and principles of the United Nations.

Article 15.
(1) Everyone has the right to a nationality.
(2) No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his nationality nor denied the right to change his nationality.

Article 16.
(1) Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.
(2) Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses.
(3) The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.

Article 17.
(1) Everyone has the right to own property alone as well as in association with others.
(2) No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his property.

Article 18.
Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.

Article 19.
Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

Article 20.
(1) Everyone has the right to freedom of peaceful assembly and association.
(2) No one may be compelled to belong to an association.

Article 21.
(1) Everyone has the right to take part in the government of his country, directly or through freely chosen representatives.
(2) Everyone has the right of equal access to public service in his country.
(3) The will of the people shall be the basis of the authority of government; this will shall be expressed in periodic and genuine elections which shall be by universal and equal suffrage and shall be held by secret vote or by equivalent free voting procedures.

Article 22.
Everyone, as a member of society, has the right to social security and is entitled to realization, through national effort and international co-operation and in accordance with the organization and resources of each State, of the economic, social and cultural rights indispensable for his dignity and the free development of his personality.

Article 23.
(1) Everyone has the right to work, to free choice of employment, to just and favourable conditions of work and to protection against unemployment.
(2) Everyone, without any discrimination, has the right to equal pay for equal work.
(3) Everyone who works has the right to just and favourable remuneration ensuring for himself and his family an existence worthy of human dignity, and supplemented, if necessary, by other means of social protection.
(4) Everyone has the right to form and to join trade unions for the protection of his interests.

Article 24.
Everyone has the right to rest and leisure, including reasonable limitation of working hours and periodic holidays with pay.

Article 25.
(1) Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.
(2) Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance. All children, whether born in or out of wedlock, shall enjoy the same social protection.

Article 26.
(1) Everyone has the right to education. Education shall be free, at least in the elementary and fundamental stages. Elementary education shall be compulsory. Technical and professional education shall be made generally available and higher education shall be equally accessible to all on the basis of merit.
(2) Education shall be directed to the full development of the human personality and to the strengthening of respect for human rights and fundamental freedoms. It shall promote understanding, tolerance and friendship among all nations, racial or religious groups, and shall further the activities of the United Nations for the maintenance of peace.
(3) Parents have a prior right to choose the kind of education that shall be given to their children.

Article 27.
(1) Everyone has the right freely to participate in the cultural life of the community, to enjoy the arts and to share in scientific advancement and its benefits.
(2) Everyone has the right to the protection of the moral and material interests resulting from any scientific, literary or artistic production of which he is the author.

Article 28.
Everyone is entitled to a social and international order in which the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration can be fully realized.

Article 29.
(1) Everyone has duties to the community in which alone the free and full development of his personality is possible.
(2) In the exercise of his rights and freedoms, everyone shall be subject only to such limitations as are determined by law solely for the purpose of securing due recognition and respect for the rights and freedoms of others and of meeting the just requirements of morality, public order and the general welfare in a democratic society.
(3) These rights and freedoms may in no case be exercised contrary to the purposes and principles of the United Nations.

Article 30.
Nothing in this Declaration may be interpreted as implying for any State, group or person any right to engage in any activity or to perform any act aimed at the destruction of any of the rights and freedoms set forth herein.

My life's update

2007-05-05T19:08:00.000-07:00

Hey all!!

What can I say? I have been so busy lately ... so busy I just haven't been able to post blogs or keep in touch with ANYONE (yep, my parents are starting to wonder if they actually do have a daughter or if I am just a (bitter) sweet memory/iilusion!!).

Well, I am now working on Onology (cancer) which so far as been ok ... the staff on this ward are so much nicer than before. I still have anxiety attacks & stress out but I have conquered the steep learning curve of Rotation 1. I know it won't all be down hill from here but I think I have learnt some coping methods which will make things easier to handle. I haven't lost a patient yet but it is only a matter of time ... pretty scary & I reckon I will be a bit of mess when it happens but it is one of those things a nurse needs to face. :p

My social life is kinda down the toilet but I am able to still do stuff ... not much but some. Michael & I took off randomly & saw Kris & Chris last week for a quick visit which was really nice!! :D I miss my college mates! :(

Actually, am planning on going paintballing at the end of this month! :D Wahoo!! :D Top three things on my list to do (eventually) is: paintballing, white water rafting (bit cold - may need to wait a bit) & suba diving (of course, it is handy that my b/f goes on a semi-regularly basis, huh?).

Stuff at church & cell is going well ... it can be hard because I don't always have work off on Sat morning & Wed evening but when I do get to go, I enjoy it! :D I will be in a play this coming weekend (nothing too exciting ... 3 lines, but it is a start ... and since I haven't acted in ages and ages, it will be a nice beginning!). And I may just be leading out at cell in the near future. :p

Driving is going well... got the hours but I just don't have the confidence or the experience ... but definiately working towards a licence. :D

May be going hiking in October!! I miss hiking!! So I am really excited!! Just need to get equipment!! :D Hiking!! Camping!! Wahoo!! :D I miss all that stuff so much! :D

Oh, and just because I can, Michael & I celebrated our 1 month anniversary yesterday!!! He brought me roses!! :D

Ok, sorry, just had to gush for 5 secs. It's ok. I have a grip on myself now! :D

Well, that's about all the news for the moment ... what can I say - I am becoming quite boring with working ALL the time!

Hope you are all going well & finding some time for yourselves! :D

Blue Nurse

He caught my eye ...

2007-04-21T07:39:00.001-07:00

In the middle of a crowded room, I saw him.
Pretty good looking, a nice person, nice eyes
And before I knew it, our eyes meet & we were sharing a private joke across a crowded room

Now, before you start to overanalyse this situation & guess about my love life, just think of how familiar this situation is. I reckon everyone has managed to connect with somone else without needing to speak words ... even if the connection was not overly strong or lasted very long. But for some strange reason, I reckon we all crave it.

To connect with another peron... this is the purpose of life ... or at least a very big part of life.

Recently I have heard some cool 'connection' quotes that i thought I would share:

In the movie 'Before Sunrise' the main characters are discussing God & the chick reckons that God is in the attempt people make in trying to connect with another person ... the distance between two people is where God is at.

In the sequel, 'Before Sunset' the same girl states she would prefer to be alone than be lonely next to her lover.

Which is closely linked to the quote I hear in church today: Crowded lonliness ... having so many things happening in your life ... work, church, family, uni, community service, sport ... that practically you are running from one activity to the next with no real interaction between the different areas ... crowded lonliness ... no one goes through the journey with you & meets all the different areas & CARES enough about you to find out about the different areas.

And maybe it is because we crave for someone to care, that we become desperate for someone to notice us, to connect with us across a crowded room. Because we crave, we make silly mistakes, we ignore problems & cling to the ideal that someone cares when really they may not even know we exist.

It is sad but I reckon it is true. Now, I am not saying that we should become solely independent & try to forget this craving desire for someone to connect with us. To do this would be to try to kill a part of ourselves ... which a) would not be fun & b) not really solve anything. What I reckon we should do is be realistic ... even if someone does care ... you need to care in return ... actually that would be great start ... it can be surprising the number of people who start to care about your life when you start to care about theirs.

In the movie 'Frequency' a son is given another chance to live life with his dad ... to reconnect & rekinkle a relationship that at one stage was tragically cut short. It finishes beautifully with the true Blue American family (3 generations) playing a game of backyard baseball ... everyone happy & having fun!! And as beautiful as it is ... (& I will try to not let my cynical side point out some serious story plot mishaps), it doesn't happen. People are not given a second chance with loved ones who have passed away.

So, I guess my point is ... don't wait for the second chance that won't be coming ... do it right with the first chance ... try to bridge the connection gap with another person TODAY!!

Hi!!

2007-04-03T05:42:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a super duper long time since I last wrote ... a lot has happened. My life as a rollarcoaster!!! :D Yahoo!! :D

Ok, some highlights:

Went wake boarding!!! So mad!! I will be getting this super cool video of it ... I had trouble getting up for ages but everyone was really supportive & I finally got up!! Yahoo!!! :D And I loved it!!! Must go again!! Must!!! And maybe try water skiing & the biscuit etc. Lots of fun!! :D
Am getting more involved with Fox church ... I will admit that I don't love everything about any church I have ever been to but ... I am learning to accept that church is imperfect. Anyway, am becoming more committed to my cell grp ... and am learning to open up a bit and receive help and support which is always healthy!! :D And I am really tell too ... I have had some trouble recently with work & those you knew abuot it (my internet & overseas friends are off the hook as they didn't know & I have been snobbing EVERYONE!!) have been so wonderful ... cards, msgs, phone calls, emails, just lots of care & support ... thank you to everyone!! Knowing that you are not alone can help so much when you have problems you need to face. :)

Oh, I am going skydiving for my birthday - april 8! :D Wahoo!! :D I am super duper excited ... and scared ... but I have paid the deposit now all I have to do is ... not think about it & jump!!! We will see if it works out ... and if not, then you will know why my blog has not been updated ... oh, and my bro, Chris is reading my lifestory at my funernal, ok? :D Oh, and what is just as exciting as jumping out of a plane, if not more exciting, is that my highschool buddy, Katrina is coming up from Melbourne to jump with me ... i always said I didn't want to die alone!! :D So exciting ... 4 days off work, sleep, socialise, skydive, and hang out!! :D
I moved out of the dorms!!! (And they all said: Amen!!) I live near my work with 3 others - 2 guys & 1 girl... it is pretty good. I don't really know one guy but he lives downstairs and is pretty self contained!! :D us upstairs are all friends and pretty laid back!! :D Still adjusting to being in a house and being able to put some of my stuff outside my room etc. but I am enjoying it. But amazingly enough i do miss something about the dorm ... no dryers, no spare washing machines or bathrooms, and no spare TVs ... but I honestly think i can live quite well without all that!!! :D Kylie & I are having our first social this Saturday night ... not a housewarming or a birthday party or anything really upkey ... just relaxed, make toasted sandwiches or haystacks, and watch a movie with friends ... we will see if we can handle this before going onto gourmet dinners (and learning how to cook too!!)
I went to yo's 21st birthday party!! A bit late but awesome, none the less! :D Latino style party, outside, fairy lights, lots of food, Salsa instructors to teach us how to dance, speeches (even made one myself!) & lot s of fun!! Yolanda looked totally beautiful ... very latino & very happy!! :D Happy Birthday, Yo!! :D

I went to a Easter story with the local Uniting Church ... very interactive & very well done. Good music, good moving from room to room, good story, good acting, ... was very very impressed by everyone!! :D

Some low lights:

I lost my internet connection & I desperately need a laptop so I can get it back. Just too buggered from work to actually go laptop shopping ... one day soon. I don't think I can last much longer!! :D
I have had a lot of adjusting issues re: work & various people & learning new things etc. Sometimes it can be very overwhelming and hard to please EVERYONE & do what is right ... as well!! :( Am getting there ... still tough, though.
I have been snobbing most of my friends ... internet, overseas or not. I haven't visited my college mates for such a long time & even my neighbour hasn't seen me too much either. I sometimes feel like a zombie ... just working day in and day out ... no time for anyone else when i finish my shift because I am totally drained ... pls never do shift work ... it just isn't worth it, k?

Anyway, I was suppose to have an early night tonight & it just hasn't happened ... so i should go & just try to have some sleep.

I hope you are all doing well,

Love & laughter

Blue Nurse

Today wasn't too bad, actually!

2007-02-23T21:57:00.000-08:00

I was nervous about today as it is the weekend as more family come in & ask more questions & I haven't worked as a RN on the weekend b4 etc. etc. but it actually wasn't too bad.

We got to leave 1/2 hr early, actually ... the ward are pretty empty ... only had 3 patients with a simple admission right before lunch! :D

Nothing really noteworthy happened except:

I got to do a dressing: it was open (as it went deeper than the skin) & needed to be packed with gauze - this can be really painful for the patient as thin cloth like material is placed next to/top of etc. their nerve endings! Yep, not nice ... packing it (and changing the packing regularly!) ensures the wound doesn't just heal over at skin level & leave a hollow within ... which allows for infection etc. NOT good at all!! Anyway, I had to clean, pack & dress this patient's wound ... I was really nervous as i haven't done one in most like 6months or something!! Some wards allow assistants to do the dressings ... so I have done some ... but I just asked the other RN to come in with me! :D

I was again amazed by the team leader (I swear this woman has 50 different personalities!) .. she found out one the RNs who has moved here from an Asian country was able to save up for her family to arrive ... who just got here a few days again .. & the team leader found she didn't have anything ... not even a fridge ... so all of a sudden, a collection bucket went around & b/t the morning & afternoon staff ... $130 (enough for a bar fridge to get her started) was raised .. in the space of 10mins! :D The poor girl was so embarrassed she started to cry! Poor thing ... she just keep saying "I don't know how to say thank you!" It was definately a moving moment ... I could see a human heart in the team leader!! :D (thank goodness, I was starting to wonder!)

I made an embarrassing comment ... In my tape recording of handover ... I said that a patient was in with LUL pnemonia and stated the LUL was Left Upper Lung pnemonia instead of Left Upper Lobe!!! I mean it is in the lung & everything ... but it is a quarter of the lung instead of the whole lung!! Goodness!! Embarrassing!! :P

I also got my ear chewed out at lunchtime - not in a bad way, just bloody annoying way!! I had a late lunch b/c I had a new admission so I was hungry & tired & this assistant keep going on about how management doesn't help out & they should have different system with assistants to assist the RNs etc. Basically everything he said I agreed with but in the process he was knocking RNs in that we don't assess our patients properly & we only copy what the RN in the previous shift wrote ... and it is the assistants who notice the changes & change them etc. It was kinda annoying b/c i do know a lot of people do do that & it is annoying but it is a not a 100% true fact ... & he just keep going on & on ... I finally had to say something like "Look, i agree with you ... you don't need to convince" ... he just walked away mumuring "Yep, well, management upstairs isn't convinced!" ... if I had been another person in the room or if I wasn't so hungry & trying to enjoy my late lunch i would have found it almost funny ... such passion!! :p

So, yep, two more days to go!! :D Before a break! :D

Oh, yeah, the flirty RN came in this afternoon & yep, he flirts with everyone!! :D And i was annoyed at myself that I actually blushed ... when I made some flirty comment about how I had told the team leader that I really liked him & that she was trying to set us up (flirty lies, of course!) ... but as soon as I said it, I blushed ... it isn't because I like ... I think it is just that I have never flirted with co-workers before ... flirting is left for ToyBoys, crushs & boyfriends! Work, & school - I next to never flirt! Also, i don't know these nurses that much either ... so I really don't know how much I can push it with them ... e.g. i know I can tempt the ToyBoys with bondage & cooking!! And it works, too! :D

Anyway, I am signing off b/c apart from work, my life is incredibly dull at the moment ... but considering that work is basically taking up all my energy, strength & most of my time ... that doesn't really leave much left over, huh?

Till next time!

Blue Nurse!

Day 3 out of 6 - only 3 more to go!

2007-02-23T03:46:00.000-08:00

Well, tonight was my last evening doing a PM shift before doing 3 mornings in a row ... all up it is 6 days straight ... it is normally 5 days ... so I actually have a 3 day break afterwards & yes, you guessed, I am taking off ... bugger Sydney ... I want to be somewhere where I have close to 0 responsiblity ... yep, you guessed it ... my bro & sis-in-law's place!! Ah, bless!! :D

Anyway, that is still three shifts away ... I have to admit I am nervous about tomorrow morning ... it is a lot busier in the mornings ... but I do have more support ... thankfully!

Well, this shift wasn't overly bad ... I had the same teamleader as last night ... when I realised this, I almost cried on the spot .. yep, that's the kind of effort she has on me .... & then I discovered she is on tomorrow morning ... bloody hell!!! I just prayed for a good shift!!

And then in handover, they basically all ganged up against New Grads ... we are all really new to giving GOOD handover ... it was bad enough that they made mean comments & made fun of our efforts but then, when one girl kept saying Um, um, um ... and was really slow ... they stopped it, & one of them just turned to me & said "That is bloody annoying .. I never want to catch you doing that ... if I catch you doing that I will be really pissed off ... don't do it! If you need to catch your thoughts put the tape on pause" Even tho, I was in shock ... I had the dignity to reply ... "You do realise that isn't me, right? I may be a New Grad but that isn't me!! I didn't do that!" (thankfully, someone had kindly commented to me last week that speaking fast in handover is a really good idea ... thank goodness for that, huh?) Man!! So, here I was thinking "this is going to be a really shitty shift!!"

It didn't help that I did majority of the afternoon chores by myself ... let me clarify ... before handover we have a list of chores that need doing to keep the ward stored up with supplies, the resusciation trolley is up to date etc. ... normally, we are running around doing them quickly for handover & then have a inservice of some kind e.g. education is so important & little refreshers!! :D Anyway, there was no inservice today so we took our time with the chores ... so much so that I did 8 out of 10!! That kinda reenforced the idea that maybe, just maybe, this shift was not going to be good.

I really had not wanted to go in for this shift ... I was praying super hard for a good shift.

I had 6 pts .. a bit better ... than one was for a transfer to a different hospital, two were selfcaring & fine in bed, & the dreaded confused patient (he had pulled out his catheter in the morning ... that is really unpleasant ... the catheter tubing is inserted up the urether & a small balloon is blown up so the catheter won't fall out ... for a patient to pull the catheter out with the small balloon blown up, they put themselves in lots of pain & really only a confused patient does that!!) was actually quite settled & no real complaints with him.

But since a patient pulled out their cannula (flexible needle in his arm) this morning, i had to put in a S/C (subcutanous - just under the skin) butterfly needle (semi- permanent cannula) on the patient's back ... I hadn't done one of them for ages .. it actually went okay ... just got to remember to pinch the skin & go in at an 40 angle! :)

Anyway, everything worked out okay with my patients ... they were lovely again ... and I actually rang up a Dr re: treatment of a patient ... it was a bit scary to talk to him but thankfully one of the nurses was really cool about helping me out. Actually, the other RN down my end was the best ... he was great ... when I was getting ready to call the doctor ... he just said, pretend you are having a conversation with me & look at me while you are on the phone ... so then he did all different funny poses saying ":Look at me ... you know you want to!" etc. He was a crack up ... actually the team leader has started to make comments like "are you single? the correct answer is you are married ... b/c that RN is single!" And then later, when he made some comment how he smelt after working the shift ... she made some comment about how he needs to do something about it b/c how am I (as in Shaz) going to sleep with him if he is smelly!!!"

That poor RN actually checked with me later & apologised if I felt uncomfortable etc. :p I just liked the fact I wasn't getting yelled at ... being able to muck around with your co-workers helps so bloody much!! :D

But I had fun with him later ... I had to put some cream on some swollen testicles ... and the RN was teasing me how since I am a goodie SDA girl, he was expecting me to blush & get all uncomfortable ... hee hee, well, I kinda left him thinking that I have seen a fair number of testicles ... and not just in the hospital either!! :D

That RN helped make the shift ... he was great!! :D (But don't worry, there is a decade in difference in age ... & I don't date work mates ... so hopefully the only reference i will have to him will be that he is great to work with!!)

Anyway, this whole shift went a lot better & I am slowly figuring out how the super tough as nails teamleader works ... hopefully, things go well tomorrow .. I am nervous .. it has been 12 days since I last did a morning ... hopefully, I can stay on top of things!! Hopefully!! :D

Life sucks!

2007-02-22T04:40:00.000-08:00

I really want to write a nice blog about butterflies, rainbows, friends, the magic of Christmas, picking flowers, climbing trees, long walks, the wonder of cartoons & all the wonderful things that amaze us when I was little!

But, unfortuately, life is moving along so fast that I have to just try to keep up. And since most of my close friends are not actually near me for me to rant about my day, this blog is my only outlet ... so, as you can guess ... I had a shitty day!

The past two days I have had afternoon shifts on my level ... all my 5 shifts of orientation were in the morning & I had a RN to ask if I had trouble ... now, I have a full patient load (5), it's in the evening, I have no RN to ask & I have just got back from a 4 day w/e ... enough time to forget everything I learnt in orientation! Yep, I am barely keeping up.

Last night wasn't too bad ... I had a pretty heavy load ... only had 4 pts but 3 of them were heavy needing PAC (pressure area care) throughout the shift ... throw in that I don't know the afternoon staff that well & I had forgotten what I had learnt the week prior re: IVs etc. it was a bit of a rollarcoaster of a shift ... but I did get out just on 10:30pm ...(the time my shift finished!) This I had to be thankful for!

And then I got this feeling of false security b/c I started to think that this shift this afternoon would be better ... I would get my timing better & be able to do handover sooner & I know these patients etc.

HELL NO!!!

Instead of 5, I got 7 new ones!!! Let's just say, I HATED THIS SHIFT!!!! WITH A HUGE PASSION!!! Swearing under my breath for most of it, actually!

Oh, the patients were lovely ... isn't it always the way? ... the staff could go to hell & I would not miss them, would sent a reference to Satan & would throw a party to celebrate!! :D Complete with a thankyou card to Satan!

1) In handover the teamleader (a rough, tough woman) would stop the handover tape every 5 mins or so & make fun of the efforts of my fellow New Grads handover recording from the morning shift (yes, I am the only New Grad on in the afternoon ... & yes, I was incredibly pissed at her for doing this)

2) Then we lost a nurse so I got 7 pts! But thankfully, we got an assistant ... one I knew ... but I did have to share her with the rest of the ward (total of 33 patients) so yeah, it was nice to have a friend but really, everyone else's patients were much heavier than mine so yep, she did feel bad for not being able to help me much but in the end, she did help (emotionally) more than anyone else ... and that I am so thankful for.

3) Then when I went on my tea break, one of my patients was randomly transferred to another level ... the team leader had no idea why but she was in charge of them while I was gone ... but of course, I had to run up & give a handover & do his notes!!!

4) Then I had a discharge ... I was told that everything was ready for her to go ... but I was so crazy trying to figure out everything ... I hadn't actually worked out if all her paperwork had been done etc. A few heartstopping moments there when the transport came to take her away! :p But at least, I was down to 5 pts!

5) When I was at tea, the teamleader did my meds ... when she told me about them ... she told me that it would never happen again ... & it can be tough being a New Grad but save the tears for after the shift. That statement alone almost brought me close to tears when prior to that, I had been fine ... apart from the occasional swearing internally.

6) A Dr came & asked me to help him do a BSL (Blood Sugar Level) on a patient ... I thought, even tho he isn't my patient ... the other nurse is busy and nurse has helped me out so much, the least I can do is do this BSL (they normaly take 2 secs) ... well, of course, this pt's skin was so tough, it took 3 times ... and the pt had MRSA (Multi-Resistant Staphoccocus Accorus ... or some spelling like that ... basically means the patient had a very determined germ (or micro-organism) on their body which they can pass to you if you are not wearing PPE (personal protective equipment) e.g. gloves, & gown ... so yes, since i am not allowed to take the BSL machine into the patient's room ... MRSA can survive on non-living things like plastic etc. ... I had to keep going out & getting new strips & needles for the patient's BSL ... taking off my PPE & getting new PPE each time I left & reentered the room!!! Bloody hell! So annoyed!!

7) There were at least 3 IVs which got air in them ... this is really annoying ... you either have to get a syringe and aspirate the air out ... but that's only really good if you know what you are doing (I keep having trouble with the claps ... would forget there was 3 & do you have any idea how hard it is to aspirate air when you have locked the tubing?!) or you can disconnect it from the patient (one patient was ready to kill me when I tried this b/c it hurt so much .. hint: it shouldn't/doesn't hurt at all ... but her cannula was placed in a difficult vein at a difficult angle ... so, yep, not good at all). Both of these options I had difficulties with & needed to seek out help ... and then the last one, I actually broke the line (it goes through a hollow cylinder called a burette which you can squeeze to speed up the amount coming into the burette ... see, you can put an additive e.g. Antibiotics into the burette & cap off the the normal fluids e.g. Normal Saline to keep the vein open & when the additive has finished going through, you just uncap the burette & the normal fluids go in. But the buretter had emptied completely ... it is better to have a small amount of fluid in the burette so you don't get air in the line (air in the veins is NOT a good idea!) ... so I was trying to fill the burette up by squeezing ... well, I have decided that I should stop lifting weights ... because I broke it ... Normal Saline got me square in the face!!! If I wasn't so pissed off, I would have laughed!! And then I had to go & get a new line with a new burette etc. & of course, I grabbed the wrong one & opened it & when I was double checking it with another RN, she realised & I had to throw it out!! What a waste .. just because I wasn't thinking straight!! Pissed off at me now!!

8) Also, when the teamleader did my meds, she FORGOT to tell me that she had changed one med to be given instead of at midnight, that it should be given at 10pm ... much better for the patient but she didn't tell me ... I could have finished my shift & not given the gentleman his meds & nightshift staff wouldn't have given it ... b/c who would know that maybe I gave it & just forgot to sign for it!! Bloody hell!! :(

9) And one of the IV patients needed so much reasurance re: her IV .. she was the one who was in pain ... she didn't understand it no matter how many times different staff tried to explain it to her ... in the end, due to her pain, we ordered for the night doctor to reinsert her cannola on the other arm ... but while we were waiting for the doctor to come up, she said that her arm was fine now & as long as we didn't actually touch her hand, she could have her IV running ... so, fine, we put it back on ... it is due for a resite anyway tomorrow ... (the hospital's policy: cannulas have to be changed every 3 days ... risk of infection etc.) But man, that woman was so time consuming!! :(

10) One good thing was I did my handover in time & I did my notes okay ... I didn't ahve any PACs which helped so bloody much!! But I finished all my work 15mins b4 having to go home!! But I had to copy down the new roster ... & I was just saying goodbye to the bloody stupid f***wit of a teamleader, when the bloody stupid f***wit phone rang. Now, I understand that it is the end of the shift but honestly, it is part of her job to be sitting at the desk & answer the phone. But we are part of a team, right? right? So, when she hashly said "ANSWER THE PHONE" ... I thought, on one hand: "Screw u, bitch" & on the other hand: "well, if I can get along with this woman, then working on this ward will be much better" so I answered it.

Let's just say that answering that phone was the straw that broke the camel's back. EC (Emergency Care) was overflowing & knew we had an empty bed so wanted to know if we were ready for a this patient ... I had idea ... my life for the past 8 hours had surround 7 patients, not the entire f***ing ward!! But of course, when I asked the team leader & the new team leader (who was NOT any better!), all they said was No!! that nurse hasn't started yet. That of course, was not what the EC nurse wanted to hear ... she wanted to know when the nurse started ... um, I ahve no idea ... I don't know the night duty timetables ... so I had to ask that & basically I had a nurse on one end demanding a bed & two nurses on the other side taking no notice of me trying to get their attention ... when they finally did talk to me, they said that EC would just have to wait till 11pm when the third RN started for the night ... by this time the EC nurse was pissed and just said blutly that she was calling the supervisor and hang up ... & then the 2 RNs LAUGHED AT ME!!! I relayed the message & then they got all shitty b/c the EC RN had given attitude & how I had to learn to put my foot down & stand up to EC etc. WELL, I BLOODY WELLL WOULD HAVE IF I HAD ANY IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON!!! I have not been answering phones all night & have not been keeping an eye on the whole ward this shift ... that is not MY FUCKING job!! So, when the team leader make some comment how I did okay throughout this shift as I was walking off the ward, it was all I could do not to give her the finger.

It is 1.5hrs later & I am still really really angry & pissed off!! I do not want to go back. I want to quit. I want to leave & never come back!!

But unfortuately, I have to go back tomorrow and the next ... and i have to learn how to swim or else I am going to drown. That is certain.

So, please, enjoy the butterflies and rainbows, the clouds, the friends, the flowers & walks for me while I try and finish my sentence of nursing.

I know it will get better & the first 3 months are really really hard but it is all I can do to just make it through one day at a time!!

Bloody pet peeves!!

2007-02-18T16:50:00.000-08:00

Ok, normally, (I like to think all this is true) I am a easy with anything goes kinda person & I am up for anything (within reason, of course!) & I normally look on the bright side of life but right now I am feeling annoyed & frustrated ... so I thought I would share:

1) MYSPACE is not working!! I can log on & use it for the total of 30secs before it just randomly closes ... it doesn't matter if I am writing a comment, checking out a profile, updating my profile, or checking out photos ... it will close & I am so annoyed with it!! And I got to use Myspace for little while yesterday at a friend's place & myspace worked fine then ... so I reckon it is the dodgy connection or something in the dorm computers!!!! (

2) I hate having to live with people who are selfish, annoying, immature & loud! Ok, the last one I could live with if the person was my friend ... everyone should have the right to be loud in their own home ... at the right time and with consideration of others, of course!! This dorm is pretty big (it definiately looks like it from outside!) but out of all the huge building ... I have such a tiny room that only up to 3 people can fit comfortably ... as long as they are staying in the same place, don't mind being really close with each other & don't try to open the fridge or the closet! I just want to have my own place- complete with SPACE!!, my own kitchen, and maybe even a back yard so we could put up fairy lights & have dance parties out the back!! :D

3) I hate the fact I am working full-time now & whenever I do get time off, I am so exhausted recovering from work, that my social life is decreasing!! (ok, slight exaggeration ... but most of my friends are still away on college holidays or just don't live near me!)

4) I hate the fact that when I really want to chat to my parents ... It costs a future!! It is cheaper for me to call USA (on the other side of the bloody PACIFIC OCEAN!!) then for me to call the next island just north of Australia!! WTF!! I just don't think that is fair!! Just because PNG is a 3rd world country!!

5) I hate the fact I can't cook!! Again, I think it has something to do with the fact I don't have my own kitchen but honestly I really truly suck at cooking!! And I come from a family that are great cooks & hosts!!

6) I hate it when life isn't balanced!! Too much work, too much idolisation of either friends or family, too much shopping, too many movies, too much TV!

7) I hate the fact that I am making a "bloody pet peeves" list!! This is so NOT me!!

8) I hate the fact that I don't have a car - in the city of Sydney, public transport do not go everywhere & there are huge chucks of the city that I have not been able to see due to not having a car! It doesn't have to be a fanastic model or anything ... just reliable & economical!! is that too much to ask?

9) I hate the fact that society & church both insist that you will be happier if you are in a couple/ family ... advertising demands it, gocery shopping is so much cheaper if you are buying for a family, you are able to contribute more with a family, your kids can be involved in Pathfinders, your husband can be an elder, ... ever notice that there are never any single focused groups at church ... it all about being a big huge family made up of small HAPPY families!! What utter B.S.! Then people have the check to ask why there are so many miserable singles in the community or why so many young people are leaving the church? I mean, really! You apply so much pressure ... it really shouldn't be that much of a surprise, should it?

10) I hate the fact people get so wound up about having the latest phone, the latest clothes, the latest music, buy, buy, buy, spend, spend, spend, .... WHAT IS THE F###ING POINT? Do you really think that will make you happier? If you have a IPOD, A MP3 player, A USB stick, a Laptop, 50 pairs of shoes, $100s worth of makeup & hair products, the perfect tan, ... What does it really matter when people are DYING from: STARVATION!!! WAR!!! NATURAL DISASTERS!!! Where kids only have one outfit to wear (I am not making this up!) & when they go to wash it they have to either put it back on wet or go around naked! And I not just talking bout little 5yr olds ... I am talking about 18yr olds!! Where people feel weathy if they have more than two pots & have space in the backyard for a vege garden!! Where girls are gang raped again and again from soldiers of both sides of the war!!! Where the thing that matters is making through the day alive & surviving!! How the hell can we just throw our money away so carelessly? HOW!!?

P.S. I am aware that I have made some huge contradictions in this post ... wanting Myspace to work & wanting my own place & car vs. giving the world a talking to about spending too much money!! I do realise I have done that ... but at the moment I am in an irrational, pissed off mood!! This is me having a rant & rave!! :(

50 1st dates

2007-02-16T03:44:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching 50 1st Dates with Drew Barrymore & Adam Sadler. I am not a real great fan of either of these actors yet this movie touches me. Of course, it has some of the trade mark sillyness that is common in both of their type of film but this one has a depth to it that I really appreciate.

The story is about a one night stand only kinda guy falls for a girl who only remembers that day & basically "her slate is swiped clean at the end of each day" & she doesn't remember the guy anymore ... so he has to go to different lengths to reintroduce him to her EVERYDAY!!! And not just reintroduce her but also assist her to fall back in love with him.

This movie shows dedication to the extreme. I dunno if it is the nurse side of me coming through but I really appreciate people who can stick around & be supportive & care for you for the long haul. Esp. if you are sick or have a serious issue.

I think, this movie illustrates how meaningful love should be. I just wish everyone I know could have this type of dedication & love in their relationships.

Tired!

2007-02-15T23:05:00.000-08:00

Well, I was going to hop on the computer & give you such a big bitch about a particular nurse, pushing people into boxes, and people avoiding responsiblity .... but after a good shower, taking my aggression out on my floor (I NEVER vaccum but I have to admit, that I enjoyed being so rough!!!), listening to the world's greatest beer songs (dirty, swearing, oldish - my type of music!), & having something to eat (& yes, it my my own personal stype of burrito, Claudia!!); let's just say: that I am too tired to complain about all that! :)

Well, today I finished my first week of the New Grad program (my first week on the wards). It is exhausting work! And I have a four day weekend!! Wahoo!! :D Super duper excited ... what's on the agenda apart from sleep ... hmmm, church, SS, wakeboarding, city visits, beach, reading, movies, road trips, yeah, fun stuff! :D But when I go back to the wards on Wednesday, it will be rough: will have my own patients (have been doing that with an experienced RN this past week ... next week it will just be me!!!) & will be starting on a PM shift (which I have never done as a RN!!). So yeah, hopefully, I can still enjoy my weekend without thinking of all that!!

Yeah, Wednesday was V-day/ SAD day ... and a group of us single girls went out for dinner!! :D Gournet Pizza Kitchen is the best!! :D It was fun to dress up & get together. But I have to admit there were too many cute guys taking their girlfriends out for dinner!! I never realised what a big deal Valentines was for people but wow! that restaurant was full as! and everywhere you looked there were couples!! But we stil had fun!! :D There was some live music & just fun!! :D

I haven't really been doing much else except work so my blog is kinda boring. My driving is improving ... changing gears is a lot smother & most of the bunny hops have been ironed out! :D I enjoy driving & driving a manual/ stick!! :D Fun stuff! :D

Anyway, should go & sleep! Have a great weekend everyone!!

Blue Nurse! :D

Why do we have to constantly prove ourselves?

2007-02-13T21:43:00.000-08:00

Well, today i did something stupid ... think all other NG RNs on my ward (total of 4) wanted to kill me ... the team leader was going to give us each 3 patients & I popped up and asked for 4 (reason: we should be able to handle having 5 or 6 on our own by Friday & after that, we won't be assigned to an RN & have someone to help us etc.) which is what the Educator told us to have.

Ok, so traditionally, I am a teacher's pet (maybe it comes from having parents as teachers ... who knows?) but I wasn't doing this to gain brownie points with the staff ... it was to learn ... and learn I did.

Had my traditional 3 lovely ladies & then I had also a NFR (Not for Resusitation) elderly male who was completely bedridden and dependent on me for food, fluids, everything ... learnt a bit about nasogastric tubes, which was good! And almost straight away I was regreting asking for another patient ... what was I thinking? I was practically running up & down those halls ... just trying to keep my head! But you know what? I had morning tea on time & I even got closer to having lunch on time (1st day, I didn't have lunch till 2:45pm!!) - plan to have that perfect! And even tho I was tired & really hadn't wanted to come in for work this morning (not that I have a choice in the matter!), I kinda had fun ... I enjoyed the patient's company, I enjoyed the my co-worker's company (the song My Sharona is doing the rounds!!! :p), & I learnt a lot! :D

So, it really really sucked when I decided to stay back & help out one of the other New Grads as she was helping her RN with transfers & the new PM RN thought we both didn't know anything & was like a grumpy sergeant!!! Bloody hell!! I look young; I am a New Grad & just because I haven't been working with him all day - he thinks I know crap all!! Bloody hell!! Stop with those stupid boxes!! Allow me to talk; to have my say & you will be surprised by what I am able to do (if any of this sounds at all stuck up just read my previous blog post called: What is our problem?)

By the way: hope you have a fanastic Valentine's Day (or SAD day) - a day to celebrate how you care for others (my own personal twist!!!)

Day 2

2007-02-12T22:39:00.000-08:00

Well, let's just say that other watching a brilliant movie "Before Sunrise" & sleeping for 10 hours ... I felt a lot more prepared for my next shift! :D

Again was given 3 patients (thankfully, it was the same ones from yesterday which does make it easier!) & the same staff were on so everything run a lot smoother.

I got assessed to give oral medications and now I can give them unsupervised!

This is completly terrifying ... here is why:

The 5 Rights
Right patient - check arm band, ask pt's name & DOB, & check their special number
Right route - IV, oral, injection, cream, spray etc.
Right dose
Right time
Right drug - ensure the drug is compartiable with other meds too & does not have any ingrediants that the patient is allergic to & double check as drugs have at least 2 names (generic & brand)
(additional rights include: Patient's right to refuse med & Right documentation)
(I check these Rights 3 TIMES before giving the med)

Expiry Date:
Of each med, IV, flush etc.

Allergy of patient:
ask patient
ensure they have a red band if they are allergic to something
ensure it is recorded in all med charts

And then for IVs, I need to ensure special labels are filled in, and I calculate the rate that I want the medication to be delivered in the patient (got to get it right because I don't want to destroy the patient's vein!) & check it all with another RN

And for Schedule 4 or 8 drugs (drugs of addiction) I need to count all the drugs to ensure none have gone walking, double check with another RN, & fill in extra paperwork.

And then there are the Telephone orders, Emergency orders & nurse iniated orders!!!!

Just a little worried ... now, for those of you who know me & know I rarely talk about how much nursing info I know or the fact I avoid nursing questions like the plague & I make out that I actually don't know anything; well, let me actually say that I do ... I do know this stuff!! It is just terrifying that I have to put the stuff I know in theory into practice!! Pressure!! :D

But as a friend pointed out: Today I know more than I did yesterday so I am that much more experienced ... & it does make a difference

But pls don't get sick anytime soon, ok? I really don't want to have to treat anyone close to me just at the moment ... need a couple more days, at least, before that will happen!!! :D

Ever have one of those days?

2007-02-11T21:42:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had one of those days:

- where when you look back, the only words that come to mind are "Oh, Bugger!"
- where you are on the run constantly
- where you are hungry
- where you are asked to balance people's lives; their meds, their showers, their IVs, their visitors, their meals, their dressings, their BSLs, their obs, their mobilising, their entertainment, their counsellor, their appointments with Radiology or Pathology or the Physio, their cannulas being resited, their doctors, their anxieties ...
- where you want to cry
- where you are so tired, you feel like you could sleep for a week
- where you don't want to talk to anyone or give anymore
- where you are just too tired to care

Welcome to the first day of being an RN - just be thankful you don't have to physically live with me & have me come home this crabby!! :D

I promise that I will be able to survive the next four days ... I have to ... just breath ... IN & OUT!! :D

P.S See, I told you, I would be bitching about work in no time ... that holiday I had is so far away & real life is having it's fair revenge on me!! :D

What's our problem?

2007-02-08T21:04:00.000-08:00

As this outspoken, strong woman educates us about the life of a nurse, she stuffs up. She swears.
"Oh, sh##, oh man, I'm so sorry. As you can guess I am not SDA". The very next day, her co-worker who has some similiar characteristics does the exact same thing. And again she says "Yep, I'm not SDA as you can most likely tell".

Don't know if I should tell these ladies that most of the people who work at this private, upper class SDA hospital are not SDA ... except for the ones in administration positions, of course?!

Why do we (each of us) typically sterotype others (& ourselves) as soon as we meet them? Why do we have to place them in a box and restrict who we believe them to be?

I find it interesting that many of my friends who appear to be quite conservative have a range of interests which do not fit that typical, traditional SDA box. One of my friends loves shooting guns, another loves rock concerts, other things include dancing, doing donuts in cars, clubbing, faking organsms in public, yelling various names of the human anatomy louder & louder, or even enjoying having extremely interesting oral sex. All of a sudden, the box doesn't fit anymore.

Beginning my New Grad program as a RN is extremely nerve racking. I start to place myself in a box: I am still a student ... I don't know enough ... I won't be able to make it ... I can't do it. I also start to place those around me in a box: look at that nurse ... wow, she is so smart ... I bet she never screws up ... I bet she stays in every night & studies up on all the diseases her patient has; or look at that other New Grad ... wow, we were in the same class & I don't remember half of the stuff that is coming out of their mouth ... where did they learn that? ... man, they are going to get staff member of the month so soon.

Placing people in boxes is natural but not correct. By doing so, we are limiting ourselves & others. Mainly, we restrict the wonderful opportunities we could have in developing a great friendship with another person due to intimidation, awe & fear caused by sterotyping.

We need to have a healthy view of ourselves and realise that no one is perfect, including that "perfect" person on the other side of the room.

Marianne Williamson says in Return to Love:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination.
It is our light more than our darkness which scares us.
We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, and fabulous.
But honestly, who are you to not be so?

You are a child of God, small games do not work in this world.
For those around us to feel peace, it is not example to make ourselves small.
We were born to express the glory of god that lives in us.
It is not in some of us, it is in all of us.
While we allow our light to shine, we unconsciously give permission for others to do the same. When we liberate ourselves from our own fears, simply our presence may liberate others."

Why not make it a purpose today to make sure the box does not fit ... push yourself out of your comfort zone in trying something new ... find out more about people around you ... break those sterotypes and discover the REAL potential that everyone has

My first day!

2007-02-06T22:39:00.000-08:00

It's been the hot topic for the past few weeks. It was the issue that was a distant cloud hanging around throughout my trip to USA. It was the reason why I got all organised, filled in paperwork, contacted security & uniform shops. I lost sleep over it ... mainly last night!

And then I turn up & orientation for my new RN job is: in my old classroom with a large percentage of people from my old class!! I ate at the same cafe & I am able to walk to my job (just like when I was in uni!). All the information that they gave us on our first day, I have heard throughout the past 3 yrs! Kinda ironic, I reckon!

But I am 100% certain that as much as this feeling of "I know what I am doing & what this machine does" will last as long as I am physically NOT on the wards! So, when orientation stops & I actually start the work side of things, I will PANIC!! Yipee! :P

Ice, Ice, Baby!

2007-01-31T04:49:00.000-08:00

Well, the public has been informed that approx. 73, 000 people in Australia are classed as 'ice' addicts.

"The ANCD report, released at the National Press Club, finds that nearly 10 per cent of Australians have tried methamphetamines, a psycho-stimulant drug which goes by the street names ice, speed and base."

When I did some clinical at sexual health & HIV clinics, I was informed about ice ... what I was told was that it is much quicker process to become addicted to ice than to other drugs e.g. heroin. Ice gives a quicker and more advanced high than other drugs and is more easily available than other drugs. Ice has actually been around for a quite awhile but it is only now that it has hit the television media (from my perspective ... which is most likely completely inaccurate due to the amount of times I actually watch the news), and hopefully something will be done.

"More treatment programs are crucial, with only an estimated one-third of methamphetamine addicts receiving help."

Yet upon watching "Requiem for a Dream" recently (it is a bluntly honest movie against the usage of drugs), it was pointed out to me that none of the addicts in the movie actually wished to stop taking the drugs regardless of the circumstances which they started taking the drugs. And it is that point which hits the issue square on the head ... people need to have the desire to change ... starting from the inside and working outwards. Non-addicts also have a responsibility ... to support and nurture people who want to change, who desire to change, who struggle to change.

If you know anyone who is taking drugs, try not to judge them ... peer pressure is a extremely hard thing to stand up to and once they are hooked on the drug ... it really isn't that easy to stop. So please, help your friends, your family, your co-workers change if that is their desire.

Nothing

2007-01-30T04:46:00.000-08:00

It's really strange the things you plan to do when you allocate yourself a week to do anything:
Go for walks
Visit the elderly
Take photos
Do spring cleaning
Make a couple of scrapbooks
Read a variety of books
Sleep
Get a haircut
Educate yourself
Write letters
File
Go shopping
Do all the important things that have been building up for the past three years that need to be done

And it is really strange the things that you end up doing in the allocated week:
Sleep in
Watch midday soapies/dramas ... hating every min!!
Eating junk food
Wearing the carpet out from the bedroom to bathroom to computer room and back
Getting "4 eyes" from watching too much TV & using the internet too much
Trying to convince yourself that making lists of things to do (tomorrow) means you are actually doing something (today)

Yes, maybe, just maybe, I should leave the dorm and discover the world that is out there in my local suburb ... or maybe I will go and watch the late night telly!

P.S. don't worry, pretty soon, I will be bitching bout my new job & all the work I have to do & the crazy shiftwork & dodgy patients etc. The world will have it's revenge ... I promise! :(

My trip in 25 words or more ...

2007-01-07T19:10:00.000-08:00

Well, at the moment I am at an USA uni; my trip is roughly 3/4 of the way over and apart from the joy of no longer having to live out of a suitcase, I will be sad to return back to Australia.

Before my venture over the Pacific Ocean, I was told that i would contract a disease calling the travelling bug and that my USA trip will be the beginning of a long sequence of random trips to strange yet beautiful places. I refused to believe this: I am a nurse after all; I have had all my vaccinations against diseases AND have moved around enough in my lifetime to know that travelling is not my thing.

Well, for once; and I need to emphasis the ONCE, I am wrong. I did contract this travelling bug.

This trip is not over but I have learnt so much so far. I have conquered fears and meet new ways of doing old things. Let me enlighten you of some randomness of my trip thus far.

What has happened:
- Been to DisneyLand (yeah, ho hum, tourist you say! Well, YES! I am!! But not just that ... my visit to DisneyLand was my first journey into a real amusement park and my first adventure on a rollarcoast and I can now say that I have meet fear face on and stomach up and I did the only thing i could: I screamed, oh, and yelled hate messages to friends!)
- Celebrated a cold Christmas (no snow but who wants to be 100% traditional ... anyway, it felt cold enough to be snowing)
- Was almost murdered by a bowling ball (I will not, I repeat, will not, give many details but believe me ... having a 8 pounder bowling ball land inches - please note the use of American measurement - from my head is enough to scare you into appreciating life)
- Introduced to sea lions (loud bullies!)
- Went to the beach (I know, I know, sounds stupid ... American beaches and all but it was so much fun!! Cold but fun rocks ... who knew water + rocks = FUN! Oh, yeah, and I have learnt new maths equations which use words ... all together now, Oooo Ahhh!)
- was in a elementary drag race (Wiggle Cars rock!!)
- Went from underdog to overachiever in Dutch Blitz ... even with a handicap ... and no, it is not being Australian
- Got a tatoo
- Was introduced to U.S. history classes (And in my personal opinion ... the Klu Klux Kan are bastards)
- Was attacked by Mase spray ... let's just say it will stop anyone in their tracks!
- Made 2 bowls on the pottery wheel - now there's therapy when you just want to hit someone!
- And continued to develop unhealthy sleeping habits

Due to the fact I have never been diagnosed with the travelling bug before, I am unsure if I have typical symptoms. I have been motivated to do some pretty crazy things and have started having hallunciations (or is it dreams? I can never distinguish between the two!). Let me give you examples:

Shaz's Travelling Bug Symptoms
- the halluncination to travel to other places; some again and some new: different parts of USA, Europe, NZ, PNG, QLD, Africa ... you know ... the world!
- the biazzare desire to go to school: night school, collage classes, pottery, history, politics, & geography classes
- the need to take at least 5 photos a day ... I am sure that is unhealthy on some level but that is what the travelling bug does to you
- becoming fasincated by ordinary every day things like car number plates, words, music, scenery, mailboxes ... FREAK OF NATURE!!!
- greater appreciation of ... wait for it ... AUSTRALIA!! Yep, this is a serious, almost fatal, symptom
- having a vision to start an Amnesty International group
- being complelety confused ... yes, more than usual ... South is cold, I am on the West Coast not the East, measurements, temperature, & money is foregin, and the Southern Cross is not in the sky to guide me ... forever lost ... well, until I return to Australia that is.
- Developing a trusting nature towards others that they will not lead me astray or get me more lost

And the large component of this disease is the auditory trouble I have been hearing. So many things have sadden me recently:

Are those voices real?
- In India, the children of postitutes have to sleep/live under the same beds their mothers are working on
- When the white Americans started to conquer USA from the Native Americans, they traded blankets with them ... only thing was the blankets were lined with small pox and villages were mass murdered for the sack of being able to say "THIS (bloody) LAND IS OURS"
- In India, it is thought that it is better to be a dog in America then a man in India - think about it
- Around the Civil Rights Movement, certain newspaper editors wrote how black people were unable to make moral decisions thus whites had to 'teach' them and if they stepped out of their place then it was the unquestionable duty of white people to shoot them
- In certain parts of Africa, children are both the weapons and the victims of war
- In India, the children of postitution start carrying on the family business at the young age of 12 or 13

The travelling bug has also provided me with flashbacks of what feels like another life.

Woh, dude, these flashes remind me of the good old 60s & my acid experiment:
- In this land that I am in, this land of pleaty, of excess, of homely environments, this land that is so similiar to Australia yet so different ... I have flashbacks of my time in PNG, of my 3 yr old niece, the fear I have that she could die from malaria, or contract AIDS, or suffer in poverty ... the flashback I have of my promise never to let that happen to her or my other nieces and nephews ...

Yet with stating all the travelling bug symptoms clearly I have reached the decision that maybe this disease is unique. maybe the travelling bug is not a bad thing to have. Maybe the travelling bug disease is actually a blessing in disguise.

Good vs. evil
- The travelling bug has attacked me greatly and I am unsure if I should feel guilty for saying this but sometimes I have enjoyed it and sometimes I haven't. Travelling has forced me to not just meet new people and places but to learn more about myself, to have a greater appreciation for my home and my life and to be educated. This is worth far more than my travel expenses as the value of such things is priceless (and yes, that is different from worthless!)

America!!! :D

2006-12-24T23:08:00.000-08:00

Well, I have only been in Amercia for 4days!! And I love it!! I write another blog later but I have already been to DisneyLand, been on my first rollarcoaster ride, been to Hollywood, Union Station, eaten at International House of Pancakes (not sure which other countries they are internationally in but oh well!), been hydro board (I think that is what you call it .. the car is driving though a rough wet spot and there is so much water that the car is not actually contacting the ground ... you are kinda air board ... even if it is n't much!!) Scary!! :DI have also celebrated Christmas American style ... lots of food, christmas lights, presents, laughter, cold weather, photos, and it all feels very homey!! :D I have loved everything and have been taking so many photos!! :D WOW! My trip has been so action packed so far!! :D And it is no where over!!

So, until next time ... Merry Christmas from cold America ... it is roughly 9C where I am at the moment ... not so nice!! :D

Graduation!!! Oh, and a POTLUCK!!

2006-11-30T05:04:00.000-08:00

Well, it has started .... I have the strangest sense of da sa vu (? spelling) back from when I graduated from highschool ... a weekend event, parents flying in on the Thursday, dinner with teachers & parents, dressing up, awards, packing, implementing plans that have been made throughout the past year and lots of crying! Yep, all that happened back in '03 and it is all about to happen again this weekend ... minus all the crying ... I won't cry, I won't cry (much!) :D

Graduation is always an emotional time for people ... it is so busy yet over so fast ... there are pieces about where you are that you want to change so you don't mind the end; but then there is the pieces that you really like and therefore the change is too sad. Ah, yes, the wonderful, confusing time of graduation!!

Anyway, either way whether I am ready or not, I, along with my fellow graduates, will be commencing the Avondale Graduation Weekend tomorrow night.

Ah, well, it should all be worth it for the potluck we are having on Sunday!! Yum!! Food!! My fav!! :D

If anyone is around Cooranbong on Sunday and wants to hang out ... socialising will be happening at my bro + sis in law's place from around 1:30pm onwards ... just bring a plate to share + a plate to eat off, oh, and an attitude to socialise and you should be all set. If you need directions just email me!! :D

See ya next time!! :D

Another one bites the dust!

2006-11-27T07:46:00.000-08:00

Well, I found out today that yet ANOTHER mate is getting married. Dude!! Talk about an epidemic!! It is insane! So, let me do a collective congratulations to EVERYONE engaged or going out or married or whatever (maybe even single people too for still being single!!! Yahoo!!)

Actually, on that note: my parents will be celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary in less than a week ... isn't that sweet? My parents are great and they deserve their own announcement: Congratulations Mum and Dad!! I love you!! :D

I guess it would be appropriate for me to write something about relationships or wisdom or whatever ... but I won't. It is 2:45am & I just don't have anything to say except.... I can't believe I had a 8 hour nap this afternoon!!! :D

See ya next time!

All done!

2006-11-20T03:52:00.000-08:00

It is starting to hit me that I am finished! My course!! I have all the information of a registered nurse ... wait, what? I HAVE ALL THE INFORMATION OF A REGISTERED NURSE!!! (I am having a recollection of a poster flash before my mind ... a train is doomed to destruction at the bottom of a mountain as it has gone off the tracks .... and the note underneath says Oh Shit!) Yeah, not such a good feeling!!

I mean, I enjoy the fact I can sleep in and recover from the past few weeks ... correction ... past few years! And I have so much to do with the planning of my trips overseas and weddings to go to and concerts and roadtrips ... all that savings and 'no buying' policy is going to really REALLY pay off ... it is not like I am bored and have nothing to do.

Actually, it is only when people ask about next year and my plans that I realise that I am finished ... it feels like I am just on holiday waiting for the semester to start ... but it actually is the next stage in my life. It is the step between student and profession. It is the implementation of the education I have had throughout my life. It is the coming of age (modern definition). It is the .... scariest thing to face me at this moment.

Don't get me wrong ... I want to graduate! I am happy that I am finished ... it is the mystery of the unknown; the change, the wonder, the RESPONSIBILITY that will come with graduation that I am just a little wary of.

But no matter how crappy, scared, bewildered etc. I may feel about next year, it is going to come weather I want it to or not. So really, I guess I should just suck it up, be a man (no, I am not going to get a sex change ... just use your imagination a bit, please!), and brace myself for the new year. I know I want to be a RN ... and a good one too; so I just have to get through the transition from student nurse to registered nurse ... somehow! Change is growth, so here I go ... ready to shot up another 10 inches (I have always wanted to be taller so that's an extra bonus!!)

God bless!! :D Blue Nurse

Which country are you?

2006-11-08T03:25:00.000-08:00

I actually do like males but I just thought this was quite entertaining. Apologies guys!! :D

GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot, relaxed and Convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently aging but still warm and a desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain,with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, lost the war and haunted By past mistakes.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide with borders now unpatrolled.
After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious Past and the wisdom of the ages ... only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

GEOGRAPHY OF MEN
Between 1 and 70, a man is like the USA. Ruled by a dick.

Say sorry!

2006-11-01T04:41:00.000-08:00

Today I helped a Dr with doing a bone marrow biospy on a patient. I just helped the patient lie on his side and talked loudly to the going deaf patient ... explaining what was happening and why etc.

For those of you who don't know ... a bone marrow biospy involves a very big needle going into the bone just above you bottom and withdrawing a bone specium. It is very painful.

We kept asking the patient what his pain was on a scale of 1 -10, with 10 being the worst in the world ... and he kept saying 2! We couldn't belive it!!

Afterwards, when we were cleaning him up, he told me a little story. He was a foster child growing up and his guardians used to beat him up and neglect him. One day, his guardian wanted to make him cry so he continued to really beat his hand (with one of the olden day canes, I believe). The patient still has scars on his hand with permanent indents in the middle of his palm. And he refused to cry on that day ... and now it takes a long for him to cry!!

I didn't know what to say ... and ended up saying somthing along the lines of: "I am sorry that happened to you and they did that to you. I am sorry you were in pain then and that we gave you additional pain today". And to my disbelief, the patient started crying!!

Now, I am sure there are people out there who may say that his body was recovering from the invasive procedure of a bone marrow biospy and the relief of being out of so much pain caused him to cry ... and you may be right. But I personally believe that this patient just has not been shown a lot of affection throughout his life.

I told my facilitator about this, who started crying, which got me crying!! One big cry fest!

But as my facilitator, sometimes it makes a world of a different to someone to hear the words 'I'm sorry' even if you weren't the one who was in the wrong. Just hearing those words shows that someone cares.

So, I challenge you to say sorry and/or to realise that the small things can make a huge difference.

God bless,

Blue Nurse

Technology!!

2006-10-30T16:26:00.000-08:00

I love technology ... but only when it loves me!!!

The past couple of days so many things have taken so much longer than they should have because the technology around me became alive and decided to make my life as difficult as possible!!

I am very very frustrated!!! :( Just thought I would let u know!!

Oh, and I had a great time away ... lots of news and action ... but not enough time to write. Unfortuately the next month and a bit are so full it isn't funny and I most likely won't be writing much at all!!

Just a heads up!

Take care!

Blue Nurse

HOME!

2006-10-05T06:21:00.000-07:00

Well, tomorrow I leave the country for a few weeks!!

I am excited about going home and seeing my family and relaxing for hopefully a longer period of time than I have been allowed so far in this semester ... things just seem to get crazier and crazier around here ... it will be nice to just leave it all behind me for a while! :D

Hope all those from college enjoy the break and Big Camp if you are going!!

God bless!

TICKETS!!!!

2006-10-02T22:19:00.000-07:00

After a lot of stress, internet searching, phone calls, emails, waiting for the bank to open, struggles with public transport etc. I finally have them.

I have my TICKETS!!

I have three trips coming up:
1. PNG - with 5 days on a different island to hang with my sis and her family
2. QLD - to celebrate the joining of two great pp in holy matrimony!!
3. America - a whole month enjoying USA!

AND now i have the tickets to actually go!! So excited!! :D

No more interviews!

2006-09-26T00:50:00.001-07:00

Well, I had my last interview for the year today! :D

Such a nice relief! From now on, the requirements of my course etc. SHOULD be familiar and even tho time consuming, will be comfortable ... maybe. Clinical isn't exactly the easy life ... but I am comfortable, and familiar and know what is expected of me.

Interviews are just a tad harder ... today's interview was for the NSW Nursing Consortium (one interview informs 10 different hospitals about me and weather I will make a good nures). So, on come the heels (and the rest of the professional outfit!!) and Kylie Anne and I journelled a couple of suburbs for the interview.

At first it appeared like the day would be bad ... what with running to the bus (don't forget those heels), thinking we had missed out train (thank goodness, no), having trouble finding the place (ended up practicaly going around in a circle!), and having my interview brought forward a couple of hrs (I had arrived early because of Kylie's app. but I had expected to wait a while ... allowing for more prep time!!), and realising as I walked into the room just how ill prepared I was!!

But the ladies were so nice and supportive and kept on nodding their heads (That's got to be a good sign, right? Not some terrible nodding disease!). I had basically 6 Qs: What makes a good nurse? How would you ensure a stroke patient could understand you ... communication techniques? What would you do if a patient refused treatment? What would you do if you had to care for a patient who was highly contagious? What ethical issues would be raised with a patient who was receiving an organ transplant? Prioritise these 4 different patients: pt with an epileptic fit, pt needing an urine bottle immediately, pt with pulmonary oedema (fluid in their lungs), and a verbally abusive patient.

It was actually the last one I think i did the worse on: I said the urine bottle first! Nah, just kidding ... but I took ages deciding b/t the pulmonary oedema and the epileptc fit pt ... but in the end I think I did ok. Prioritising my care is definiately an area of improvement. How and what reasons for the prioritising would u have given?

The other questions went well ... I believe ... they kept nodding so I am assuming I was on the right track ... don't really want to think of these lovely ladies as nodding and smiling obsessed people! I mean, that just doesn't sit right with me! :D

Anyway, I am home now and the heels are off!! Thank goodness! Heels, if ever worn, should only be wore for a few hours, at the very least with lots of sitting! That's my advice for all you boys out there who are thinking of wearing heels! :D Just kidding!! :D

Catch ya later! :D

EXAMS OVER!!!

2006-09-22T01:06:00.000-07:00

WAHOO!!! OVER!!! IT'S OVER!!!! EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!

Only 6 1/2 weeks of clincal, 4 major assignments to do, grad and then EVERYTHING WILL BE OVER!!!

Yeah, so I have a lot of work left! But thank goodness this last week is over! This week has been a week from hell ... as was the two weeks with something like a thousand assignments due ... I am hoping the worst is over! Fingers crossed!

Well, to celebrate the near of the end ... Yo and I went out with a bunch of girls from our class ... felt like such nurses ... discussing disgusting things and none of us losing our appetite at all!! :D And then the MOVIES!!!

Yo and I saw JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE!! We wanted to see something that was just totally light and fuffy ... something we could laugh at just how stupid it was! Hee hee! But I have to admit that as much of a teenager movie it was ... there were some scenes where I just couldn't stop laughing .. they were actually truly funny ... I had trouble breathing a number of times. Oh, and hot boys! Must be the stress of exams ... everywhere Yo and I looked there were HOT guys! That's it ... the curse of exams is that you get extra hungry, crave chocolate and caffine, get lack of sleep, are stressed (so basicaly, you couldn't look any worst or be making any less of a good impression!) and there are HOT GUYS everywhere! But eye candy is still eye candy! And either one of us are ones to complain! All I can say ... the scenery was good! :D Yeah, it was a good reward for finishing our exams! Hee hee! :) Who says girls can't be shallow? Hello! We are human too! :D

Anyway, the actors in the movie were pretty good eye candy too ... esp. the younger brother! Man, the hair .. the teeth ... I have definiately been locked up in my room far too much lately! :D

Anyway, I am going to stop going on about the opposite sex! So, they are hot! So what? Moving on, now (See i can, if I really want to!)

Sabbath is here!! Sabbath .. blessed Sabbath! No study, no stress. It should be good! :D I am looking forward to it! Actually, I should run to make Opening Sabbath ... God bless, stay healthy and have a GREAT weekend! :D

Miracles

2006-09-20T06:15:00.000-07:00

So, yeah ... I have been in a week of hell ... it isn't over either ... which sucks BIG TIME!

But I have also been honoured to be witnesses to great things that have happened recently .. they are small but I think of them as miracles. (And yes, I do realise I am making a list YET AGAIN!)

- a mother's hug, stroking her son's back and pushing his hair out of his eyes, promising to tuck him in bed at night
- friends sharing chocolate and hot milo
- hearing people state openly they are "2nd chancers" - Jesus gave them more than one 2nd chance
- a friend giving another one a lolly pop to encourage to continue studying for exams
- friends going out for dinner to just celebrate just being friends
- the warmth of a family's home
- volunteering to help others
- tickets arriving for trips overseas
- new relationships arising along the horizon across campus
- songs
- keeping in contact with old friends
- having the body function of being able to cry
- spending Sabbath with friends
- last minute planned weekends away
- love and attention to each other, of a couple just starting out
- ready food that does not require preparation or wash up
- free internet
- being spontanous
- love
- sleep
- life

Hope you are surviving life and remembering to stop to smell the roses and/or witness the miracles!! :D God bless!

What if I stumble?

2006-09-20T05:49:00.000-07:00

I went to a cell group tonight and they played this song by D.C. Talk. I have heard it before and maybe you have too ... but tonight it was really special and I just wanted to share! God bless! :D

The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips
Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.

What if I stumble?
What if I fall?
Is this one for the people?
Is this one for the lord?
Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?

You can jumble them together,
my conflict still remains
Holiness is calling,
in the midst of courting fame
Cause I see the trust in their eyes
Though the sky is falling
They need your love in their lives
Compromise is calling

(chorus)
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?

Father please forgive me for I can not compose
The fear that lives within me
Or the rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose
On the narrow road youve carved
Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar
Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt Im feeling

(repeat chorus)
What if I stumble?
Everyones got to crawl when you know that
Youre up against a wall, its about to fall
Everyones got to crawl when you know that (2x)

I hear you whispering my name [you say]
My love for you will never change [never change]

(repeat chorus 2x)

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You are my comfort, and my god
Is this one for the people, is this one for the lord?

Random quote

2006-09-19T22:45:00.000-07:00

Found this somewhere in the www, liked it, thought I would share:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

by Marianne Williamson from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

Ever feel like life SUCKS!!!

2006-09-17T18:44:00.000-07:00

Have you ever arrived at a place to participate in a certain activity and discover that you learnt the wrong material? Or are prepared in the wrong way? The questions are not the ones who were expecting? Ever experienced being sick in your gut because you realise you are making a bigger and bigger idiot of yourself?

Welcome to my life!!

I went for my SAN New Grad interview today ... this is the big one. I really want to get into this 12month program at the SAN next year. Really, truly want to!!

And I sucked in the interview! :(

Ok, the points that went well were:
- I looked professional and got compliments from my interviewees
- I gave some good answers

Yeah that's about it.

I came across being so ill prepared! Granted I could have prepared more but it would have just been going into more detail what I had prepared for (make sense?)

I expected to be asked questions like: So why are you doing nursing, tell us a bit about yourself, where do you plan to go with your nursing, your dislikes and likeas about nursing, how would participating in the New Grad program assit you in achieving your aims .... give us some examples of how you dealt with a difficult patient, infection control, OH& S etc.

Well, it was more on what do you know of the SAN, which wards would you like to do your rotations on if you came here, .... an example of difficult patient (good answer but then one of the interviewees thought she knew of the patient .. which made me parioniod that I had changed the story ... I hadn't but it still knocked me off my feet a bit), an example of how I showed my iniative (good question, but for some unknown bloody reason, one I hadn't prepared for ... stumbled but thank goodness for memory ... told about how i took iniative with helping iwth a cardiac attack on the ward!), an example of how I handled a difficult teammember (shoot, another question that they hadn't really told us about before ... one of the interviewess had come to class one day and had basically told us what the questions would generally be able ... yeah, this wasn't one of them ... even though it is a good question and I should have seen it coming ... can you picture me just getting less and less confident and more and more sick in the stomach!! ... stumbled through this one badly and I really should have talked about an bad experience form clinical from a different insitution ... yeah, didn't do such a great job with that question). And then I got to ask questions and then it was over.

I couldn't wait to get out of there. It was terrible!! I wouldn't even hire me after a performance like that!

Okay, maybe I am making out to be a lot worst than it was. I guess the truth of it is that I felt like I appeared ill prepared and that is the last impression I want to give!!

Oh well, the world is desperate for nurses so I guess if not at the SAN then maybe somewhere else!!

Pls, Lord, help me get into the SAN!! Pls!

A Lot like Love Movie Review

2006-09-17T00:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, the other day I brought a movie called A lot like Love.
And I have decided that this movie must be made illegal for anyone single. It has got to be my absolute favourite romantic movie of all time. It is really cute and the main characters are so funny and I can even see people I know doing some of the stuff they do. So, why should it be made illegal, u ask?
Well, it is terrible when it finishes .. you just want this movie to go on and on. And it is such a couply movie .... you know, the whole being in a couple is great etc. AHHH, so when you finish it you realise to a fuller extent how single you are ... normally this is fine but at the end of this GREAT ROMANTIC movie ... it just feels terrible.

So yes, I have a love-hate relationship with this movie!

But it is so good. Oh, the story line is simple ... a guy and girl meet up and seperate and met up and seperate again over the period of 7yrs. And there is the romance really. :D

But the things they get up to are so cute ... oh, making bets about where they will be in 7yrs time, scaring each other, getting tons of random fun passport photos together, roadtrips, photo posing, competition on who can not talk the longest .... I don't know ... it is just so cute and so romantic!!!

And because it is just so romantic and cute ... I dislike and like it!

Let out frustrated scream!!! I think i am just starting to agree with most of my guy friends ... they say that chick flicks aren't worth watching unless you are with a chick ... I think I am getting the same ... chick flicks aren't worth watching unless you are in a relationship ... otherwise they are just plain fustrating!!!

Thanks for letting me get all that dodgy stuff out!! :D

Ok, besides all that ... I have nto been doing too much. Suppose to be preparing for exams and interviews ... but have to admit I am struggling. I just want it all to be over that I just have lost a bit of motivation!!! Not good but that's the truth!

Also trying to get all my tickets booked for my overseas trips and trying to make the most of my last semester at college. :D

Anyway, should stop procastinating ... will catch ya later!

Your Blue Nurse! :D

Go Light Your World LYRICS

2006-09-13T06:45:00.000-07:00

There is a candle in every soul
There is a Spirit who brings fire
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold
Ignites a candle and makes His home

Carry your candle,
run to the darkness
Take your candle, and go light your world
Seek out the hopeless, confused and torn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world

Frustrated brother, see how he's tried to
Light his own candle some other way
See now your sister, she's been robbed and lied to
Still holds a candle without a flame
Seek out the lonely, the tired and worn

Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Take your candle, and go light your world

We are a family whose hearts are blazing
Praying to our Father, in the name of Jesus
So let's raise our candles and light up the sky
Make us a beacon in darkest times

Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, deceived and poor
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Seek out the hopeless, confused and torn

Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Take your candle, and go light your world
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world

source:Triccoli Kathy Time:2005-08-10

So...

2006-09-12T01:05:00.000-07:00

:)

Well, nothing to say ... nothing happening ... life is boring ... everything is so-so.

What should I talk about .... hmm, I don't know.

Life, love, luxury ... hmm, no they are too hard and complicated.

I mean ... life is hard, busy, hard to find the meaning of, unpredictable ... life is hard to talk about.

What about love ... love ... hmm... love is good. Love is God. Love is complicateed yet simple. Love is ... being happy, being at peace, love is ... trusting, giving, smiling, sharing, being. Love is ... simple yet still hard to talk about ... I mean, there are so many different languages of love it is crazy!

Luxury ... yeah, this one is hard ... I mean, part of me says "Down with luxury and over consumerism!!" We don't need it so we shouldn't have it ... but then there is a part of me that loves to have an extra desert ... or buy a skirt or go to the movies! (And yes, they are luxuries!!). Yes, I don't know if I could talk about luxury without contradicting myself.

So, what should I talk about?

Maybe I just shouldn't ... maybe I should enjoy the silence ... maybe i should listen instead. Shh.

Hmmm ....

2006-09-11T01:54:00.000-07:00

Well, I have finished! All done!! Over ... no more!!

Ok, I have finished that bunch of stuff to do... still pleaty more!!

I have basically finished the busiest part of my semester ... you know the part where you have 50 assignments due in 2 days and you have no food in the cupboard and if you don't go to your best friend's place for dinner you will no longer have a best friend ... you know, stuff like that! :D Nah, honestly, it wasn't that bad! But it still was pretty bad!! I am glad to have finished it! Exam prep next!!

Today, Marlon and I did a 20min tut on what nurses should do if they are working in a detention centre and the detainee goes on a hunger strike ... it went ok ... good discussion, good presentation, dodgy focal paper but hey, can't have everything, huh? Anyway, I discovered that the Australian government is S***!!! Ok, maybe too strong but I just don't understand. Maybe that is it ... I am frustrated because I can't seem to get my head around the craziness of my government!! Ok, let me explain.

Normally, if a patient says they don't want some treatment then the health care workers are suppose to respect their decision (the patient's autonomy of being able to decide what happens regarding their care is respected). This can be hard esp. if the patient appears to be making an irrational decision and the staff disagree with the patient's decision. But we are suppose to respect their autonomy!

Or so I thought ... according to this article I was wrong:
"The Australian Department of Immigration and Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs (DIMIA) can authorise physicians, under Migration Regulation 5.35, to provide non-consensual medical treatment. In 2001, DIMIA issued about 40 authorisations for compulsory medical treatment.4 Such actions risk violating international medical guidelines. It is therefore timely to examine both the legal and ethical implications for doctors if they coercively rehydrate or force-feed detained asylum seekers."
(https://www.mja.com.au/public/issues/180_05_010304/ken10552_fm.html)

What the hell? We can force feed detainees? Since bloody when? I read a case study about a patient who was hospitalised and forced to eat ... he got all the treatment ... electroconvulsive therapy, Intravenous therapy, and nasogastric feeding!!!!!

Since when did detainees' right to autonomy not matter?

Some say they are depressed so they can't decide properly... well, look at their surroundings ... Iwould be depresed too if I was in prison and in limbo!!!

Studies have shown that the reason why detainees are going on hunger strikes is to show their displeasure of being imprisoned ... or, normally after their refugee visa application has been rejected, to say that they would rather die than be returned to their homeland which is usually war torn and they were being persecuted (it has got to be pretty bad if they tried to escape, doesn't it?)

And I have to admit ... In some ways, I don't blame the detainees who go on hunger strikes ... it definitaely isn't their first option ... they have tried everything else .... this is the only way left for them to say "HELP!!"

Famous in our lunchtimes

2006-09-10T09:04:00.000-07:00

Both Kristin and Brandon tagged me ... dude! Wonder if I waited longer if I would have been tagged by anyone else? :D Let's see what i can come up with huh?

1. What do you like most about where you live?
The fact that when it rains and hails etc. I don't have to rush outside to bring the clothes in or put the car in the garage or tie anything down!! It is great ... I can just enjoy the rain!! :D

2. Is there anything strange about where you live?
Um, well, I live in a dorm ... with lots and lots of other people! The needed rooms are not that close together ... bit of a walk to the bathroom, the phone, the front door, the computer room, the laundry etc. etc.

3. What's one of your all-time favourite music albums, and why?
Most likely The Lion King!! It is just fun!! It reminds me to be a kid!! ... it means no worries ... for the rest of your days .... no king, no king, la la la ... idiots!!! I will be king .... stick with me and you'll never go hungry AGAIN!!! Oh, and I enjoy memorising the words!! :D

4. Did you have a passion for something as a kid that you still have now? (If not - what is one of your passions now?)
Oh, I still love hugs and affection ... sometimes i think my passion for that has gotten stronger!! :D I still love being around pp .. they just give me an extra boost!! :D Oh, and i still love singing!!! And I enjoy a good book and collecting stamps ... but my time seems to be taken up that i just don't do them that often ... but I still love them!! :D And I guess helping pp has always been a pretty big passion of mine ... I used to love doing housework!!! Dude!!! Crazy kid!! :D

5. What do you like most about having a blog?
I like having a blog because I find that I type faster than I write so ... I can get more out at one sitting when I blog rather than when I write in my journal!!! :D Oh, and I can become famous throughout the world wide web!! And I can to keep in contact with tons of pp - from highschool, from college, mates from all over! A blog is great!! You can ramble and if pp don't want to read it they dont ahve to!! :D

Pick 3 (or more) people and give them the opportunity to be famous in their own lunchtimes! :)

I was going to tag Brandon and Kristin and Adele!!! Um, Michelle can get tagged by both Brandon and I!!! So, Michelle, Becky and Melody!! Go for it, guys!!

Bums!!

2006-09-06T06:10:00.000-07:00

WOMEN'S BUM SIZE STUDY
There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their bums!
I thought the results were pretty interesting:

85% of women think their bum is too fat...
10% of women think their bum is too skinny...

The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him, he's a good man,and they would have married him anyway.

Actual sentences found in patient's hospital charts

2006-09-06T06:03:00.000-07:00

1.. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2.. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3.. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4.. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
5.. The patient refused autopsy.
6.. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
7.. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
8.. Patient's medical history has been unremarkable with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.
9.. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
10.. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
11.. She is numb from her toes down.
12.. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home.
13.. The skin was moist and dry.
14.. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
15.. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
16.. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
17.. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
18.. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
19.. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
20.. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
21.. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
22.. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
23.. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24.. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25.. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
26.. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Holy crap! Urgent help needed!!

2006-09-06T00:52:00.000-07:00

I got this today and it blew me away ...

URGENT ACTION
amnesty international australia
AI Index: AFR 54/045/2006 PUBLIC
31 August 2006
UA 235/06 Fear for safety/ fear of forcible displacement
Sudan Mohamed Ahmed Kundidu (m), leader of the Um Dereisa village
Civilians in areas under rebel control in Darfur

Amnesty International fears for the safety of all civilians living in areas under the control of armed rebel groups, as a new Sudanese government military offensive against such areas is underway in North Darfur state and is threatening in South Darfur state.

Amnesty International has documented how in its conduct of war, the Sudanese government has routinely used indiscriminate and disproportionate bombings on civilians by the Sudanese government and the Janjawid, government militias operating alongside the Sudanese army, target exclusively civilians. In such attacks, civilians are usually killed, injured, raped, abducted or forcibly displaced. These attacks seem to follow the same pattern.

On 28 August, the area of Kulkul, some 40 km northwest of North Darfur's capital al-Fasher, was heavily bombed by government Antonov aircraft, prompting civilians to flee the town and their villages. A few hours later, government troops moved in the town of Kulkul.

Alongside government attacks, government-supported Janjawid militias, reportedly coming from their base in Um Sayala, attacked the village of Um Dereisa, in Wadi Sikin, some 10km away from Kulkul. They arrested the village leader, Mohamed Ahmed Kundidu, who may be at risk of torture or "disappearance." The Janjawid also killed three men in Um Dereisa: Hamdu Issa, Abdallah Mohamed Ali and Suleiman Abdulrahman Bushara; and injured two others: Yusif Eirab and Ibrahim Hamdu Issa. The area of Sayah, north of Mellit in North Darfur, has also been under heavy bombardment since 28 August. Three people have reportedly been killed so far by the bombs in Sayah: Hawa Adam, a 25-year-old woman, Hassan Adam, her three-year-old daughter, and Adam Abaker, a 75-year-old man.

Eyewitnesses are also reporting that Sudanese government forces are moving troops towards Jebel Marra, another area under rebel control, apparently aiming to approach it from the east and the south side. They are building troops in Wana and Gardud, situated south of the Jebel Marra area, in South Darfur state, prompting fears of imminent attacks.

Peacekeepers from the African Union (AU) have been present in Darfur since 2004 with a mandate to “protect civilians under imminent threat and in the immediate vicinity”. However, citing a lack of resources and a limited mandate, they rarely protect civilians under attack. On 31 August, the UN Security Council passed a resolution to send UN peacekeepers in Darfur to take over from the AU. The Sudanese government has previously stated that it would refuse to allow the UN to deploy troops in Darfur, and has instead proposed to send more of its troops to “restore security” in the region. It is now apparent that the government is massing troops in Darfur in order to attack areas under the control of armed groups which have not signed the Darfur Peace Agreement.
Background Information
Since the Justice and Equality Movement (JEM) and the Sudan Liberation Army (SLA) took up arms against the Sudanese government in Darfur in 2003, the Sudanese government armed and supported local militia, known as the Janjawid, as a proxy force against the rebels. The Sudanese government and the Janjawid deliberately targeted civilians of the same ethnicity as the rebel groups as a counter-insurgency strategy. Some 85,000 people have been killed, around 200,000 have died as a result of conflict-related hunger or disease, and more than two million people have been displaced. Rebel groups have also committed human rights abuses, including targeting humanitarian convoys and workers. Amnesty International and the UN have called the attacks committed in Darfur crimes against humanity and war crimes.

In May 2006, the Sudanese government and one rebel group, a faction of the Sudan Liberation Army led by Minni Minawi (known as the SLA/ MM), signed the Darfur Peace Agreement. The other SLA faction and the JEM refused to sign the agreement, saying it did not have enough guarantees on compensation, militia disarmament and political representation. Since the signing of the agreement, insecurity has worsened in Darfur, causing more killings of civilians, rapes and displacement.
Recommended Action
Please send appeals to the Sudanese government, to arrive as quickly as possible, in English or Arabic or your own language:
· urging the Sudanese government to respect at all times their obligation to distinguish between combatants and civilians under international humanitarian law and not to indiscriminately or disproportionately bomb civilians; and to stop all attacks on civilians.

Appeals to:
Lieutenant-General Omar Hassan al-Bashir
President of the Republic of Sudan,
People's Palace, PO Box 281, Khartoum, Sudan
Fax: + 249 183 779977
+ 249 183 780796 (Please mark, "FAO President")
Salutation: Your Excellency

Copies to:
Dr Lam Akol Ajawin, Minister of Foreign Affairs,
People's Palace, PO Box 281, Khartoum, Sudan
Fax: + 249 183 779977
Salutation: Your Excellency

Please send appeals to the African Union Mission in Sudan (AMIS), to arrive as quickly as possible, in English or Arabic or your own language:
· welcoming the efforts made by AMIS to protect civilians in Darfur;
· urging AMIS to act immediately to protect civilians under threat of attack in Darfur.

Appeals to:
Ambassador Baba Kingibe
African Union Special Representative for Sudan,
African Union Mission in the Sudan,
P. O. Box 8372, Khartoum, Sudan
Fax: + 2491-83-582206
Email: hqamis@yahoo.com OR
aucfc_khartoum@yahoo.com
Salutation: Dear Ambassador

Ambassador CRU Ihekire
Commander-in-Chief, African Union
Headquarters Ceasefire Commission,
El-Fasher, Sudan
Fax: + 249 731 831 457
Email: aucfc2005@yahoo.com
Salutation: Dear Ambassador

Please send appeals to the Minister of Foreign Affairs in your national government, to arrive as quickly as possible, in your own language:
· calling on them to support the protection of civilians by all necessary means, expressed in UN Security Council Resolution 1706 (passed on 31 August 2006); to immediately strengthen the African Union Mission in Sudan; to ensure there is no gap in the protection of civilians until UN peacekeepers are deployed; and to condemn the bombings by the Sudanese government immediately, which violate UN Security Council resolution 1591(passed in 2005) which bans offensive military flights in and over Darfur.

The Hon. Alexander Downer, MPMINISTER FOR FOREIGN AFFAIRS, AUSTRALIA
Ministerial Office Parliament HouseCanberra APH Website Fax: 02 6273 4112
e-mail: minister.downer@dfat.gov.auPlease note: e-mail correspondence should include your postal address. Responses will not be made via e-mail.
Please send your appeals immediately.
The Urgent Action Network is a world-wide letter writing activity for members of Amnesty International (AI). Its effectiveness is based on the speed at which appeal letters are generated by many members from all around the world.
The Urgent Action Network is administered regionally around Australia. To make any changes to your personal details in connection with receiving information through the Urgent Action Network, please ring your regional Activist Resource Centre on 1800 808 157.
Each Urgent Action has been carefully researched with facts and figures verified and cross-checked by our researchers based in the International Secretariat in London. Further information on this case is issued as it becomes known. This case will not be closed until a stop action is issued. If you are about to write an appeal and it is a few weeks since the date printed on this document, please email requesting an update to urgentaction@amnesty.org.au quoting four things from the top of this document: date; country; AI Index; UA/EXTRA number. If you receive any replies to you appeals please send a copy to your regional Activist Resource Centre with a note of the Urgent Action number.
If you have general enquiries about Amnesty International or would like to become a Human Rights Defender or a member, please call the Service Centre on 1300 300 920 or visit www.amnesty.org.au

Am I not pretty enough?

2006-09-06T00:33:00.000-07:00

Ok, this song seems to be chasing me lately ... it has come up in conversations and I have heard it on the radio quite a bit. I am not really a country 'n' western fan ... and I don't think I have actually heard another Kasey Chambers song that I have liked ... but I reckon that when this song first came out ... every girl who heard it just feel in love with it. I quite like it ... the words and the music!! Enjoy!! :D

Artist/Band: Chambers Kasey
Lyrics for Song: Not Pretty Enough
Lyrics for Album: Barricades & Brickwalls

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart too broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me

I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break
I crave, I love, I've waited long enough
I try as hard as I can

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart too broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me

I laugh, I feel, I make believe it's real
I fall, I freeze, I pray down on my knees
I hope, I stand, I take it like a man
I try as hard as I can

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart too broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me

Why do you see
Why do you see
Why do you see right through me
Why do you see
Why do you see
Why do you see right through me
Why do you see
Why do you see
Why do you see right through me
Why do you see
Why do you see
Why do you see right through me

Time away!

2006-09-03T09:47:00.000-07:00

Isn't it totally amazing what leaving can do? Just saying ... look, this is all too much ... I got to go away ... and actually doing it!!

I did it!!!

I went on the shortest, craziest 'roadtrip' of all time with Bon this weekend!! And it was FANASTIC!! I had a bad week last week and all I wanted to do was sleep all weekend as I just didn't have the energy to go anyway... but tickets were booked and paid so I was going weather I was ready or not!

And I am glad that I went!! So glad! It was FANASTIC!!

We took the 11hr train trip down to Melbourne Friday night. We actually chatted for 5hrs straight. I mean, we live roughly 1.5hrs away from each other and we see each other semi-regularly but ... we are always in a rush to go out and soicalise together with the boys or whatever. So, it was great to just catch up on so much!! Not so sure if everyone else appreciated it so much ... sorry!! :(

Then, slept a bit when we arrived. The train is better tahn the bus but you still don't sleep FANASTICALLY!! Then I met up with my rels and had lunch with them which was really nice. Got to check out photos, got free honey (my uncle grows all his own stuff and has a bee hive which keeps him loaded with HONEY!! Yum!!), and just chatted. It was nice.
I then caught up with Kat, Rin and Simon which was nice. I only saw them last month but it was cool none the less. Next time I see them (or most of them) will be at Rin and Simon's wedding!! I still can't believe Rin (Lorinda, Rinra, the chick I went to highschool with for 4 yrs and is younger than me is getting married!!! Dude!! It is great and I am getting used to it but WOW!! My highschool friends are getting married. This is the beginning ...)

Then I got to check out videos on Bon's internet. Due to the dodgiest computer server in the world and disappointing internet cafe (yes, I went to a cafe to see videos and it wouldn't work! So disappointing) I didn't think I would get to see these great videos I had heard so much about. But Bon's internet is awesome so yipee! I did! And I loved Michelle's (Brandon's g/f) video clip on "Somebody told me" So great!! :D Oh, and I was on it too. Not that video but a different one ... Brandon videoed a msg from me to Michelle and she put it up!! How cool is that? I am famous on the world wide web (and yes, I know that really isn't that out there but still, I liked it!!)

Then we went to the PRODUCTION!! Robbie Copper is awesome!! I mean, I knew he was good but this was amazing. The production is what Bon and i went down to mel for ... Rob produced, directed, starred in, wrote, organised, basically did EVERYTHING for the production (not even a real school thing ... more a student initiated event!!). And Rob is in Yr 12 ... dude!! Insane!! The production was basically The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe but was a bit of a muscial, dancing event too!! IT was awesome!! I was so proud of him and all the cast. They did such a good job. I will post pictures when I get copies!! :D

Afterwards, we hung out with Rob at Maccas and didn't get to bed till 2:30pmish ... which kinda sucked because we had to leave by 6am!! :( It was a long day today ... drove to airport, flew 1.5hrs, got a lift to trainstation (roughly 0.5hrs), waited for train for 1hr, rode the train for almost 2hrs, got a lift from Hornsby to home ... traveling from 6am to just past 2pm. Yep, exhausted was how I felt!!

I didn't want to come back to Sydney ... I wanted to ignore my responsiblities and course that little bit longer. But you know what? I feel tired but I feel great too. It is good to be back home ... have a bath and relax ... not have to socialise etc. It was a great trip away and it made me appreciate home just that little bit more!! :D

And I see the difference already. I sat down and wrote over 2000 words for my assignment in one evening!! FANASTIC!!

But I am now totally buggered ... it is almost 3am and I only had a couple of hrs nap this afternoon so I haven't really caught up on the lack of sleep I have had from the past two nights!! But it was so worth it ... I loved my weekend!! :D

God bless,

Blue Nurse

Slow dance ... written by a terminally ill teenage girl who has 6 months left to live

2006-08-30T21:59:00.000-07:00

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Do you run through each day

On the fly?

When you ask How are you?

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done

Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores

Running through your head?

You'd better slow down

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call and say,"Hi"

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift....

Thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

Overwhelmed!

2006-08-28T18:25:00.000-07:00

So, our teacher stood up this morning and said "remember at the beginning of the semester I said I would give you 3 ethics exam questions and you could prepare for them and then I would give you two of those 3 questions in the actual exam ... and I would give you those questions roughly 3 weeks before exams? Well, today I am giving you those questions!"

Oh my goodness!! I am just feeling ever so slightly overwhelmed!!

I have a 2000 word essay on pain and anxiety in ICU due today
I have a 2500 word essay on eye care in ICU due on Friday
I am going away for the shortest but craziest roadtrip of all time this weekend
I have a 2500 word essay on organ transplants and the black market due soon after returning
I have a tutorial on hunger strikes in detention centres due a week later
I have a job interveiw (maybe two in that week)
I have 2 EXAMS!
I have a week of clinical at a sexual health clinic that still hasn't been approved
I am going home - need to organise a week of clinical up there too - still waiting on pp to get back to me
I get back and have three weeks of clinical on the cancer ward
I have a week at a HIV clinic - which still needs to be approved
Roughly 5 assignments talking about my clinical experiences
One week before grad
Somewhere in all that there is JAC banquet, grad banquet, visiting mates at Avondale, a beach day, celebrating the end with Yo and Kylie (a gun range visit would be awesome but most likely it will be the movies!) etc.
Then grad will be crazy- gowns, vespers, S.S., church, family, photos, saying goodbye, getting pp to write in my book, President's dinner, grad, pinic lunch ...
And then I will sleep ... before traveling to USA for a month .... which will be fanasitc and I still have to organise/book ... complications due to a wedding I had planned to go to before hand and things are just not working out!! ARGH!!

Basically, there is so much to do ... and i feel I don't have enough time to actually think ... for example about the some interesting questions that would put forward in Ethics this morning:
- is abortion acceptable at any time?
-when does life actually start?
- how is it possible for everyone to have equal access to healthcare when there is no such thing as a "bottomless pit"?
- how do you support a patient who wants to travel overseas to buy an organ off the black market?

Basically, life is crazy and I feel I am only holding on by a thread! :(

There must be something worth living for ...

2006-08-28T06:14:00.000-07:00

So, I have the weirdest taste in study music ... yes, I know. But I just thought I would share with you some really really cool lyrics I heard from my War of the World CD ... I do realise that a lot of it won't make sense as it is the story of Martians coming from Mars to earth but I just love what the parson's wife says. Oh, and her voice on the CD is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!

The Spirit of Man

Nathaniel
Listen, do you hear them drawing near
In their search for the sinners?
Feeding on the power of our fear
And the evil within us?
In carnation of Satan's creation of all that we dread
When the demons arrive those alive will be better off dead

Beth
There must be something worth living for
There must be something worth trying for
Even something worth dying for
And if one man can stand tall
There must be hope for us all
Somewhere, somewhere in the spirit of man

Nathaniel
Once, there was a time when I believed
Without hesitation
That the power of love and truth could conquer all
In the name of salvation
Tell me what kind of weapon is love when it comes to the fight?
And just how much protection is truth against all Satan's might?

Beth
There must be something worth living for
There must be something worth trying for
Even some things worth dying for
And if one man could stand tall
There must be some hope for us all
Somewhere, somewhere in the spirit of man

Beth: People loved you, and trusted you, came to you for help...
Nathaniel: Didn't I warn them this would happen? Be on your guard, I said, for the Evil One never rests... I said exorcise the devil! But no, they wouldn't listen, the demons inside them grew and grew, until Satan gave his signal and destroyed the world we knew!

Beth No Nathaniel, oh no Nathaniel,
No Nathaniel, no, there must be more to life,
There has to be a way that we can
Restore to life the love we used to know
(No,) Nathaniel, no, there must be more to life,
There has to be a way that we can
Restore to life the light that we have lost

Nathaniel
Now darkness has descended on our land
And all your prayers cannot save us
Like fools we've let the devil take command
Of the souls that God gave us
To the altar of evil like lambs to the slaughter were led
When the demons arrive the survivors will envy the dead!

Beth
There must be something worth living for

Nathaniel: No, there is nothing!

Beth
There must be something worth trying for

Nathaniel: I don't believe it's so!

Beth
Even something worth dying for
If just one man could stand tall
There would be some hope for us all,
Somewhere, somewhere in the spirit of man

Nathaniel: Forget about goodness and mercy, they're gone! Didn't I warn them? Pray, I said! Destroy the devil, I said! They wouldn't listen! I could have saved the world! But now it's too late... too late!

Beth
No Nathaniel, oh no Nathaniel,
No Nathaniel, no, there must be more to life,
There has to be a way that we can
Restore to life the love we used to know
(No,) Nathaniel, no, there must be more to life,
There has to be a way that we can
Restore to life the light that we have lost...

... isn't that just great? :D

Throat!

2006-08-27T04:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, so when I wasn't looking my throat decided to go skateboarding down a gravel road ... except it didn't actually own a skateboard ... so it just scrapped down a gravel road.

Then it decided to come back home to the place between my head and body ... to which I said it could go to hell ... and it then decided that it was unnatural for a throat to leave the body it has been in its entire life!! What a smart arse!

So, yeah, my throat is being crappy!!

But the cool thing is my voice is so weird. I kept losing it, half whispering, crackling, etc. It is awesome!!

See, I am the sorta chick who doesn't care that the only time in her life that she lost her voice was at her highschool graduation ... she kept talking to everyone (signlanguage for some ... since whispering isn't all that easy to listen to!) because it was her grad and no "lack of voice" was goign to keep her quiet!! :P

Anyway, I hate my sore throat but I love my funky voice ... so I am happy! :D

Oh, by the way, two other things I LOVE: the moives: "4 Brothers" and "Lucky No. Sleven" 4 Brothers is violet (Actually both of them are violet but ...) but Lucky No. Sleven is a mind one! Twists and turns in movies are so bloody good! I loved that movie. It is definiately on the list of movies to get a copy of!! It is a must watch movie!! :D

Anyway, I am just on a quick break at the moment ... I need to go back to the books ... plan is for me to finish 3 assignments before the weekend. Dunno if I can do it but I will try.

Oh, one more thing: I saw the CUTEST thing the other day: A big picture add for Huggies (nappies for babies). And the picture was a mum and bub sleeping. The baby was resting ontop of mum and the mum had her arms wrapped aroudn the baby. Cute, right? Well, what made my heart melt was the comment that with it: "My World Wide HUG!" Oh, so great!! I just love hugs and I thought that was great ... the type of hugs that engolf you and surround you and all you can feel/notice is the care that is being shared in the world wide hug! I love those types of hugs!! (Yes, I do realise that I make a huge deal about hugs but ... I like to!!)

See ya next time,

Your Blue Nurse :D

Today I will NOT die ...

2006-08-23T03:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I was discussing with Kylie Anne what we would actually do if (refer back to earlier blog post) we knew we would die at the end of the day ...

At first we had no idea ... and then ... thoughts appeared like magic!! :D

Basically, we will have two parts

1) Ring our loved ones and tell them. This will be the hardest part and will eat a lot of time but that's ok because it is the most important part too. :D I would be really hard when it is time to hang up tho ... to know that you will never talk/see that person ever again!! :( So many loved ones - PNG, VIC, QLD, ACT + USA!!! It would be hard!

2) Grab all our siblings and friends and convince them to take the day off work or class or whatever (wag just this once ok? I promise I will never ask this of you again! NEVER AGAIN!!) and go to the beach.

We would spent the entire day at the beach - it would be hard to stay in a good mood, if there was some way of managing that it would be great! We would swim, listen to cool music, read, sunbake (yeah, like getting skin cancer is a problem now!), run!!!, climb rocks, play beach volleyball and rugby, hang out with friends, check out the boys (hee hee! Come on, really, I am going to die remember! Let the girl just enjoy the scenery, ok?), have fun food - tell everyone to bring some food and have a pinic.

And then at night, all pile around a bonfire!! :D Dunno how "Honey if you love me, smile for me" or "Mafia" would go at the beach but ... it would be fun to try! Then we could cook mashmallows, sweet potatos, damper bread and other cool campfire stuff ... I have to admit I am not the world's greatest cook or have the foggiest idea when it comes to campfire stuff but all i want is yum food!! I think we ccan figure it out!! :D And then we can sing cool songs - accarpella or with simple instruments! Any song - camping, church, hip hop, whatever - just SING!!

Oh, and dancing ... I wonder how dancing at the beach would go. :) I suck at dancing but am slowly getting better. I would dance with everyone!! :D

And then, everyone just slowly drift off to sleep ... comfortable with the heat of the fire and the greatness of friends. Knowing all is good with us. :D

This would be the best feeling to have as I drift off into the darkness. :)

I know, I know, it is all a bit disturbing thinking how I would spent my last day ... so I think i will just cut out the bit that I die at the end ... and actually have that day soon!! And just change the ending!! :D

Beach day here we come and life afterwards!! What more could you want? :D

:(

2006-08-22T23:19:00.000-07:00

Crap! I'm sick!

Life!

2006-08-21T05:01:00.000-07:00

So, I watching Grey's Anatomy today (instead of doing my assignment - I honestly have lost a lot of motivation - this is really really bad!!!) and I was asked a question by the main character:

If you knew you were going to die at the end of today, how would you spent the day?

I don't know. But I thought it was an interesting question.

:D

Food!!!

2006-08-21T00:34:00.000-07:00

I am so happy! I have food!!! Yes!! My cupboard was running bare and I was getting to stage where I was eating Kidney Beans for dinner (and yes, that is as digusting as it sounds!). But thank my lucky stars, I got a lift to the shops and I have fresh food!!! Fresh fruit and veges!! Yipee!!

Isn't the life of a student just so WONDERFUL? :D

It's Friday!!!! Yipee!!

2006-08-17T21:46:00.000-07:00

Oh, boy! I am so looking forward to the weekend. I just wanna chill. :)

Now, that I have finished work for a while ... I am straight into major assignments.

And lately it seems I have been reading things wrong ... I thought I had two more weeks before an assignment was due ... no way, it is actually a week. And this week we have Festival of Faith and classes from 9 to 4 everyday!!! Man!! It sucks!

Anyway, I will try not to make this a depressing blog like that last one. :)

Oh, I got the sweetest compliment today. I passed a mate (ok, more like a mate of a mate of a mate - have a lot of them here!) and we did the whole polite "hey, how ya doing" thing. And then he asked me how the assignments were going especially the CV stuff for interviews etc. And I just said "Oh, it is just so scary ... this time next year I will be an RN!!!" To which he just said "Hey, but I can picture you as a great RN!" "Oh, thanks" was the reply and we walked away. And that was it! And yes, I have been told that I will make a great RN before (not trying to sound up myself here!). But I dunno ... it always surprises me when pp who I am not particularly close with comment on stuff like that. It is like wow! what did I do to deserve that? I mean, I have never really been extra nice to this guy ... actually, here at the SAN I am a bit of a quiet, polite, stay in my room, snob ... and I don't think pp (except for Yoie and Kylie) really know how to handle me. So, when they actually stay something "out of the ordinary" like a compliment, it always catches me back. It is nice, tho. And I really do appreciate it ... :D

Oh, YES!! I have finished my proposal for my clinical at a sexual health clinic and a HIV clinic. I haven't gotten approval back or anything ... but I have finished it! I am pretty certain I can go to the HIV clinic but am not so sure about the sexual health clinic ... it has been arranged for it to occur pretty soon ... dunno if I can get approval and insurance in time etc. Oh, well, I guess the worst that can happen is I actually volunteer to get the experience and not actually has credit to my course. Anyway, not going to stress till I know ... and it is far too complicated for my tired poor mind to explain properly at the moment Sorry. :(

Oh, I finished reading Roll of Thunder Hear my Cry again. That book always always get to me. It is so sad but so bloody good. I love it!!! I struggle to understand how pp can tend others so differently based on the colour of their skin. I guess I am lucky in a way that I am white (as I don't get discriminated against) but it also means I can't fully relate to those who do get discriminated against. What does it matter if someone is black, white, purple or pink? Stop focusing on that ... look more on what you can learn from that person and they you! Different cultures are cool! They teach you so much more about the people around you and about yourself!

Anyway, expect me to get on a highhorse about this in the next little while. I am reading a book called The Poisonwood Bible ... about missionaries from 1920s (?) that go to the Congo to teach "the tribes of Ham" the "Word of God". I was given this book as a birthday present (yep, still haven't gotten around to reading it!!). It is interesting but I am only a couple of chapters in. One thing I do like is the style of the book ... each chapter is a different person (either the mother or one of the four daughters) who describe how their "fire and brimstone Baptist preacher" father believe it is his calling to "save" these "strange African tribes". One of the girls has only half a brain ... due to loss of blood that was taken by her twin while they were in the womb. Anyway, everyone basically ignores her and doesn't think she is that great. But she is awesome. She has trouble talking so pp think she is dumb but inside her head (which the reader gets to see because she is narratoring) she thinks of things and is really smart ... maths, poetry etc. It is awesome!! Anyway ... the book is interesting is all I can say.

Oh, I watched "American Beauty" the other night. Oh, that movie gets me everytime as well. I love Kevin Spacy!! What an awesome actor!! I liked some of the camera work as well ... repeating a 5 secs camera shoot a couple of times really does bulid the suspence (if that is right word to describe it) or to make the viewer pay closer attention to the camera shoot. And just thinking about the story line ... (hope i won't be ruining it for anyone!) ... a middle aged man is "sedated" about life and he get woken up ... by a sexy girlfriend of his teenage daughter (yeah, I know that does sound disgusting and it is but as the movie goes along it actually does get better). What I thought was interesting is: SEX (or the idea of sex etc.) was strong enough to wake someone up who is numb to life. Does that mean that sex and the idea of sex and the attractiveness we have towards something that is sexy etc. is our strongest desire ... or the desire that is most easily aroused ... or it is something that we long for ... or what? Sex is powerful ... it explains why it sells so well. But the concept that sex could wake someone to life again is cool ... esp. the fact that when he wakes up to life, he realises there is more to life than just sex. It would be extremely sad if he thought that sex was it! Anyway, I love that movie.

Something else that got me thinking was how pp say that when you die your life flashes before your eyes ... and you see the highlights (I guess). I just got thinking if I could flash great moments from my life what would they be (not that I am plannin on dying anytime soon but you know what i mean ...)

And here is a list just off the cuff:
- Dusty, our dog at Sonoma
- the school playing ground in NZ
- takeaway chips wrapped in newspaper
- going down to the river when it was the dry season and there was a drought and filling big drums with water to take home to use as washing water, use to wash our clothes and flush the toilet - also washing in the river - the little kids from the local village would come down too and pull at my hair which would float on the water - it amazed them ... sometimes I loved the attention ... other times I hated it ... either way there wasn't much I could do about it!!
- pictures of all my awesome friends - PNG, Mel, Sydney, Avondale, family
- laying on my back under the Sharona Tree
- falling asleep in the car
- curling up in a chair with hot milo and either a good book or having a good chat with my mum
- going on long walks with my dad around the campus or across Sydney
- second hand bookshops
- cooked "Fat Finger" bananas when thou I knew I would need the toilet a lot afterwards!!! :D
- Kau Kau (pronouced Cow Cow) (sweet potato) cooked in the Mu Mu (pronounced Moo Moo) (like an underground oven or as New Zealanders would cook it - a Honey)
- pumkin pie
- Kristin's cookies
- my eggplant car
- my brother's wedding - and the weeks and fun that happened before, during and after it!
- hugs from great pp: Mum, Dad, Chris, Bonnie, Brandon, Kylie Anne, Kristin, Katrina, Nan, Becky, Grandma, Rin, Simon, Eli, Michael, Mama J, Miriam, Donny, Bruce and so many more
- my nieces and nephrews!!! :D
- cool bricks on a hot day
- learning how to husk a coconut (not very good, I might add)
- Yr 12 Formal, Dinner, and Grad - dressin up, Ollie, crying, losing my voice, yr books, getting compliments from classmates
- Lilydale Church and Sabbath School
- Yr 10 play - was the back up for the main part but didn't get to do it on the night! :(
- hiking trips - "This Mars Bar looks so good in this light" and other random fun stuff
- singing with Miss Woods
- kissing the ground at Cairns airport when I moved back to Oz
- my first mini rollar coaster experience ... at Universal Studios in USA!!
- going with Dad and Chris up to the dangerous Highlands to check up on his students on prac ... getting sunburnt in the tray of a ute, almost getting attacked, having bars over all the windows of the car, seeing the hugest pig in the market, going to the market (what where we thinking - so bloody dangerous!!)
- crossing three rivers to visit the Adventist Highschool .. and only one of htem had a bridge (PNG again)
- eating pasta with my family - laughing so hard we (ok, I mean me ... they gang up on me!) have to run to the kitchen sink or else what is in my mouth will soon be on the table!! :D
- going on a roadtrip with Bon and Brandon to the Great Ocean Road - screaming at the beach, listening to trance music, losing the car ????, trusting Jesus
- going on a trip with Brandon around the east coast of Australia - "I am having so much fun .. I just wanna push you in!" :D
- talking on the phone for ages to random pp - Katrina, Brandon, Perry, James, Bonnie, Jess, Becky, Mike, Daniel, and other cool pp.
- giving and receiving compliments from close and not so close pp
- my first real public transport bus trip by myself
- Miriam - cooking with her, cleaning with her, shopping with her, hanging with her, having a friend in her
- going to Philip Island and seeing little penguins
- ringing up the guy that I have liked for the previous year and asking him to be my date for a banquet ... even tho we had only met once and he didn't really know who I was
!!!! (it was a long time ago but what an adrenline rush!)
- seeing a brain
- Watson Foyer - flirting, eating, hanging out, promising Daniel I. hot sex for favours :D
- The blue nurses and toy boys
- Kylie Anne - putting up with my obsessions, random requests for hugs, and being so cool
- random pts who speak highly of me
- the beautiful sunsets in PNG
- refugees staying at our house when a couple of vocanoes went off and destroyed the town - they come in truckloads and we converted the library into a hospital, and classrooms into houses, and had roughly 7 different worship services for the major religions that were there. We ate rice for almost three months straight. We hunted in the bush land for more root veges, coconuts and greens. A huge scary looking man with dreadlocks come to stay with his family, with us, and he spoke no English and only grunted ... bit scary but he was the sweetie man who looked after Chris and I like we were his own. It was great for a 11 yr old kid! :D
- Going to school with my grandpa on his scooter - I thought I was so cool!!
- thunderstorms
- walking up and down Lilydale Rd with Bec - some really cool discussions occured
- writing skits for Lilydale Sabbath School
- eating in the library
- bus rally into the city and eating lemon ice cream
- playing Fight
- dancing - in my room, in the girls dorm at Sonoma, with Miriam, with Chris and Kristin, with friends from Avondale and at the wedding
- catching Kristin's flowers and all the fun that surrounded :D
- getting my hair dyed black
- staying in nursing
- Sabbath
- my old cell group at Lilydale :( I miss it so much
- wrestling with Chris ... even tho he always wins!!!
- The Bold and the Prayerful ... one of my earliest memories of really feeling the Holy Spirit move
- running across the oval at LAA and looking out over the view
- Lilydale lake
- the Mission Hostel
- staying up all night with Dieter and Brandon: taking fucky photos, sitting with a "rat" on the swinging bridge, staying up for the sunrise, "getting married"
- staying up all night with Becky and Michael: watching cool short film clips, watching COUPLING (the greatest TV show ever!!!), being able to be in a conversation and then just roll over and know exactly where the show is up to - I think it is a true sign of me watching it far TOO much, just chilling :D
- visiting Avondale on weekends
- visting homes ... they are so cool ... I miss them while in dorm
- ice-cream on a hot day
- running along the beach
- spending hours in front of computer writing blogs!!!

I think I could go on for a while ... making them to be a bit more than just flashes from the past!! Oh, well, I should stop ... my fingers are getting tired from typing and my butt is sore from sitting. :p

Hope this blog wasn't too depressing. :D Have an awesome Sabbath!!! :D

That's it ...

2006-08-17T06:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I have had enough!! I am not mad ... I am tired and just fed up.

I have had enough of so many things.

I have had enough of:

1)Work ... it has been good and interesting and different and I am learning more and more to appreciate the profession I am entering into but I am sick of:
Dodgy rude a##hole doctors, nurses who make you feel like a cockroach about to be stepped on, patients who rip your head off because you just don't know what time their surgery will be, and of not knowing enough - I should know more! I am scared of all the responsiblity that I will HAVE to take on when I grad!

2)Dorm life ... I figured out the other day that between Chris, Kristin, and myself there is over 20 yrs that have been spent in dorms! Granted I have not had the most time in the dorms but I am the only one who hasn't left yet!! And I want to ... my personal experience is 6.5yrs in different dorms!!! I am sick of the lack of privacy, the sharing of things like the computer room or the TV room, I am sick of the shared bathrooms and vaccum cleaner (which is ALWAYS away being used or fixed), I am sick of pp talking on the phone while they are in the computer room, I am sick of pp baking wonderful smelling things which make your mouth water yet you can't actually have any, I am sick of having to carry all my thigns to the bathroom everytime I want to have a shower/bath, I am just sick of it. What is incredible is that I have been given two opportunities to move out and I haven't taken either one!!!! I don't have a licence, a car or the money to rent a place within safe walking distance of the hospital!!! BUt when I do ... I am gone!!!

3) Not enough food in my cupboard ... that is my own fault ... too much work and too tired to be bothered. I have finally finished all the great food left over from the wedding!! :D

4) Assignments ... not that I have started any but I have so many coming up soon ... anxiety in ICU, assessing certain procedures, ehtics essay, getting my proposal in for my clinical elective, organising clinical in PNG, and then exams, and three interviews (I was suppose to only have two but the silly hospital thinks they will be making less work for themselves if they do a phone interview (in their words "to check out our English" - what the hell does that mean?) and an actual face-to-face interview. And the interveiws are int he week of and the week after our exams!!!

5) Not socialising ... I crave to be back on my holiday ... with the biggest stress was the social dynamics of everyone surrounding the wedding ... family, friends, extended family, strangers who are becoming friends etc. I crave to be back on my roadtrip down and up the Australian East Coast. To just go into the city and take photos and to walk and to shop and to socialise. I think i just need to go and see my friends at Avondale. I miss them too. :(

6) My computer not working ... I mean Word and everything works fine but my sound has gone and my mouse won't work anymore. I am hoping it is just having a mood (like me) and will get over it soon enough. Enough things to think about already without adding a silly computer to them.

7) Obsessing .. of things that I can't get out of my head. Of silly mistakes I made at work or out of work. Of mulling things over and over and over and over. ARGH!!! So crap! I hate over analysing everything from every angle. :(

8) Being sick of things ... I know I am just tired. I will be fine. Sabbath is coming up soon and I will get to sleep and relax and hang out with great friends. I just need to recover from bad shifts, shift work, and stress. :) I just need to pamper myself a bit :D I just need to look after myself a bit ... which is why I am no longer doing shifts this weekend ... I would not cope. I mean, I almost starting crying the other night when I had to restrain a 7yr old boy who had been sedated and was having a lumbar puncture. I had to hold his shoulder and his arms down while he was crying out in pain and fighting against me. To fight against my patient who is in pain is such a hard thing for me to do. I knew that if I started crying, the mother would start and basically the last thing the Dr needs is a bunch of pp crying while he does an extremely dangerous procedure. But to be that close to tears really told me that I needed to just relax. Stop working and just relax. So I am.

Sorry that I just vented ... I didn't actually plan for all that to come out. I do feel better, tho. :D Thanks for listening. Much appreciated just being able to let it all out. :) I think i will go listen to nice relaxing music, get a good book, grab some chocolate and water and chill. :D I need it. :D

Hope you are doing well. And life isn't too stressful for you. :) Bye

So bloody tired!!

2006-08-14T05:20:00.000-07:00

Man, oh, man!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (x10!)

I am so bloody buggered!!! (and not in a good way!)

Ok, I have this week off from clinical so I put down that I could work tons of shifts at the roster office ... not actually believing I would get every shift I put down for. Well, so far, I have!!!

Saturday afternoon I did a 6hr PM shift - crazy; Oncology so it was heavy work and sad and just insanely busy!
Sunday morning I did a 6hr AM shift - hadn't really recovered from the night before and this shift was so crazy. It was on Orthopedics (bones and stuff) and I had 5 patients all to myself - any idea how bloody scary that can be when you are not expecting it?! I had to do a number of dressings - which has the whole complicated sterile technique and I always freak out that I will contaminate my sterile field etc. It was just crazy stuff!
And then today I did a double shift!!! Never again!! (Ok, I do realise I am lying but WOW!! It was crazy). I was on the gastrointestinal ward (just think poo!) - 6hrs for each shift with a quick hr nap inbetween. This morning was so crazy - I had 5 patients and one of them had a fall and had to be sent to Radiology because we thought it may have been a fractured hip!! WOW!! And a lady who had MRSA (basically it is this bug which kinda means you have to glove and gown everytime you go in and see them) kept ringing her buzzer!!! Like all the bloody time!!! And I got confused and thought she was being discharged when she wasn't!!! And so she got all confused and anxious and teary because she thought everyone was lying to her (Yes, she is elderly but my goodness, Shaz, if only you had checked this out first!!) Argh!!! Anyway, I had the same patients in my afternoon shift ... except her ... actually I had 6 patients this time!! And it looked like it was going to be a lighter everning shift. Well, we were wrong. Another patient had a cardiac arrest and it was chaos!!! I was very interested but I knew that everyone else was better trained to deal with it (and there were like 10 pp in there at once!!) so another student and I just keep an eye on the rest of the ward. Of course, at that time, three patients came back from theatre!!! Handovers, room changes, extra unexpected patients, let's just say it was CRAZY!!! So, yeah, everyone ended up running late all night. :(
But it is over!!

I don't have to work again till tomorow at noon!!! Doing a 8hr shift but it is more normal hours (12 to 8) in Day Surgery. Haven't worked in Day Surgery yet ... could be in for a crazy shift yet again!!

But just think ... I got a free meal!! When pp do doubles, they get a free meal ticket for the cafe for $10!!! I am happy! Not that I think I will do a double for a long time!

But just think ... experience. I am getting more confident in my interactions with patients, the reading of med charts, the setting up of IV and getting air out of the line (had a bit of a learning experience with that tonight - stressful but fun!), being assertive with staff, doing dressings well, and getting better time management. :D Yeah, there definiately is a plus side to working so much.

But just think ... money, money, money. Saturday and Sunday are good pay and afternoon shifts pay well too.

Yeah, actually, it wasn't all that bad. So, yeah, am bloody tired but am happy. :D

Hope you are looking after yourself and staying out of trouble :D

How much do your keys tell about you?

2006-08-12T22:40:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I was just thinking about my keys (yeah, do it all the time ... it is so cool ... u should try it sometime! lol!) and I was thinking that they actually tell a lot about someone. Let me show you:

On my set of keys:
1) (And no, this is not in any particular order!)
A name tag - with my photo (you know what i look like - glasses, blonde, teeth - in a nutshell!), my job (what I do - assistant in nursing), my name (Sharona Thiele), the name of the hospital I work in (SAN), and on the back of it is a security swipe (for random but cool things throughout the hospital like staff rooms, kitchettes on the ward, etc.) and my library access sticker (as i am a member due to being a student at the SAN School of Nursing - ok, the second half you may not have picked up from the tag)
2)A key tag for the Australian Red Cross Blood Service Donor in the shape of Australia and it has A+ on the back (so, you even know what my blood type is!!)
3)A tag (didn't realise I had so many tags) for the United Nations High Commission for Reguees (UNHCR) The UN Refugee Agency Emergency Response Team in the shape of a circle. I think these guys are awesome and one day I would love to work with them - helping people who have lost EVERYTHING would be so rewarding!! Ok, so, you wouldn't pick up half of that from just looking at my keys but you would pick up some of it! :D
4) A tag (another one!!) that says "I'm very flexible I can put both feet in my mouth" And I guess from just looking at that you can tell that I tend you dig holes but I can laugh at myself (to a certain extend, I admit!)
5) A clip (ok, I honestly have no idea what you call it!). It clips onto your clothes and you can pull your keys out to swap the security card and they will spring back after you have finished using your keys. It has the SAN logo on it and I guess it doesn't really tell you much more information except reassure you that I do actually work at the SAN. I guess if you want to overanalyse you could say that because I have so many keys and the clip thing doesn't actually work due to the weight of all the keys - this is symbolic of me overloading myself with too much but thinking that I can do but really I can't. But I think that is just coincidence!! :D
6) A mini ruler and pencil. You can't tell anything from this. U can assume that it is of sentimental worth and that i am a sentimental person ... and that assumption would be correct! :D I was given this in my final year of highschool by my houseparents along with other notes and "Keep going, the end is near, keep breathing" stuff. It was very sweet!
7)Some string - there used to be a mini pen attached to it with the SAN logo on it but it broke and I have been too lazy to remove it. I guess you could assume that I can be lazy and that would be a correct assumption again! :D
8)A purple key - I have the key to a mate's flat but you wouldn't know that unless I told you. You could assume I like the colour purple and that would be correct but it actually has nothing to do with the key ... as my mate gave it to me and I didn't pick out the colour or anything!
9)A silver key - with a number on it - it actually is my room key but u wouldn't know that unless I told you yet again! But you could easily assume that I live somewhere and that would be CORRECT!!!
10)Three other silver keys - all different shapes and sizes. You can assume nothing really from them except they allow me access to somewhere. They actually are my Resident Assistant keys.

See, wow! Look at how much my set of keys just told you!! Impressive, huh?

So, how much do your keys tell about you?

:D

I am not really a romantic... no, truly, I'm not!

2006-08-12T05:33:00.000-07:00

"I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how You made Them feel." Maya Angelou

I pride myself on being single and independent. I pride myself on not NEEDING someone (wanting is a totally different thing!), on not being co-dependent or not being TOO clingy (I cringe that I actually have been! So bloody annoying!!). I pride myself on being so free.

(I know, I know, it does sound like I don't like romantic and intimate relationships - that is not true! I just pride myself on not NEEDING THEM - I do actually want them - BIG DIFFERENCE!! I can live quite happily without being in an intimate and romantic relationship - it is that which I am so proud of!)

Anyway, enough of my pride!

When I allow myself, I can become very romantic (And yes, I know this does sound strange since I am single - what I mean is, I can appreciate the romance of the situation without actually being in the relationship ... anyway, I am going to stop explaining myself!).

Tonight I saw something that I just thought was so romantic.

I had a shift on Level 6 (Oncology - Cancer). It was an evening shift. It was just a bit crazy but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be since I haven't worked for like, three months!! :D

ANyway, we had this man who is dying of cancer. And his wife is so diligent. And I mean, diligent!! Sometimes she can be demanding and fussy about his care which can be hard for your time management side of nursing but... she was a really nice lady. She had the whole room set up the way they both like it ... had a mini CD player where they played their favourite hymns and low lights and just a really nice atmosphere.

He is having radiotherapy for his cancer ... which has actually affected his bowels ... so, he went like 6 times in the one shift!!! Dude!! That is like, once an hour!!! :(

But that aside, I was just so amazed by the wife; sitting there by his side, holding his hand, stroking his forehead, whispering sweet nothings in his ear ... all the while ... the patient is actually really out of it ... has no idea who anyone is or where he is .... the only thing he knows is:

1) He is in pain
2) He keeps opening his bowels AND
3) His wife is still by his side ... so many years from when they first meet

I know, it may not sound like much and maybe i got swept away by the moment but I just got all romantic. Even the wardsman who was helping me commented to the wife how he would love to have someone as dedicated as her when he was their age. And when he said that, I could safely say that anyone who came in contact with this couple felt the same way!! I heard one of the other nurses actually took a photo of this couple sitting together on the bed on her phone camera!! :D

I don't know ... I just thought the whole thing was just sweet.

So, I do pride on not needing an intimate and romantic relationship ... but man, do I appreciate what dedication, loyalty, love, care, and best friendship can give someone!

P.S. You can actually get all those above mentioned things without being in a romantic "going out" relationship ... which is great! :D

Happy!

2006-08-10T21:04:00.000-07:00

Ok, something is up. Something is strange! Something is weird and wanky!

I am happy. :D I mean the bubbling, full of joy, overflowing, got to share with everyone happy.

And for the life of me, I don't know why!

I have not done anything super exciting today - lectures on Central Lines (they go straight into your jagular!!), learnt how to sew the skin, did an assessment on IV meds (which I passed!!), and yeah! That was it!

I haven't really hung out with tons of pp or done super amazingly out there things. I haven't found the cure for cancer or the war on terror! I haven't done anything totally FANASTIC!!

But I just feel like putting on cool music and singing

So, that's what I am going to go do.

Excuse me :p

I love sewing through skin!!

2006-08-10T18:50:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have to admit ... I actually haven't sewn through skin. I sewed through foam. :(

But it was still cool ... we used a curved needle with nylon, forceps and twisters.
Pretty funky stuff. It can be a bit hard to get used to ... have u ever tried tying knots with forceps? It isn't easy!!

But I loved it!! It was so much fun!!

I can't wait to try on a real person!!! :D

(Just don't have an accident that requires stitches anytime soon, ok?)

:D

So sad!

2006-08-10T06:49:00.000-07:00

I just heard about London ... that's so sad. In case you didn't know, Heathrow airport has basically closed down temporarily due to security finding bombs on 20 different passenger planes. They have arrested roughly 20 pp over it. Scary!

It is sad ... I mean, it would have been a lot sadder if the bombs hadn't been caught ... but it is just sad that all this is happening.

There must be logic behind it ... that I am a strong believer in. But what it is, I don't know.

I know many Americans wouldn't appreciate this comment but in some ways I can understand why USA isn't liked ... but London isn't America. London, and the rest of Europe do realise there is a world outside them and they seem to be very multi-cultural to me (of course, I live in Australia - the workings of London are well, on the other side of the world so yeah, I admit to being ignorant but I am just stating how things appear to me - don't take it as fact, pls!)

So, why bomb London?

Is it a backdoor into USA? Many flights go from London to USA ... is it a method of scaring USA and the rest of the world by using a backdoor?

Who knows?

I just hope:
- that people would stop with the whole bomb thing - the fashion just isn't cool, ok?
- that people don't live in constant fear - the fear of what could happen (but what may not actually happen)
- that this doesn't allow for more abuse of people ... you know ... the ones who disappear (like something out of George Orwell's "1984"), the ones who are Below the Radar, the ones that the CIA sneak onto planes and remove from public eye and abuse and torture ... because the person COULD be a threat but there actually is no evidence

(And yes, I do realise the CIA isn't from London! But what if London follows in USA/CIA's footsteps? I pray to God that doesn't happen!)

I just hope for World Peace
For both the ignorant and the angry
For both the comfortable and the ignored
For both the scared and the fighter
For everyone

I love nursing but...

2006-08-10T01:44:00.000-07:00

I really love nursing. I love the interaction with people (both patients and staff). I love the surgery (blood, guts, yeah!!). I love learning about the body and how it functions or reacts to meds etc. I really love nursing. It has taken me about two years to say this but I do. :D

There are still sides of nursing I struggle with. I don't love it 100%ly. I can handle most things ... bowel movements, blood, wounds, etc. but I have discovered that I struggle to handle anything that comes from the mouth e.g. blood or sputum gushing from the mouth (a patient lost about 2L of blood the other day and it all came out his mouth!! Thank goodness I didn't see that one!) and I can't handle anything that causes the patient pain (thus I struggled with the Burns unit last year - I can remember the patients screaming and swearing as we tried to wash her - you could hear throughout the entire ward! Poor thing!).

Anyway, the reason why I am telling you all this is well, I had to assist with stuff tonight at ICU that I didn't enjoy. Not one bit. It was minor but major at the same time.

We had to put a Catheter in a female patient. Now, straight off being a female patient makes it easier. If it was a male patient, we would have had to held the gentleman's penis for a minute or two for the local anesthetic to take affect. Now, I don't have to tell you that it can be hard to discuss the weather or whatever when you are holding the man's penis!!! So, yes, good we have a female.

Another good thing is the lady just had surgery so she is still out of it .. the genal anesthetic is wearing off so she is kicking and her arm is flairing out a fair bit ... so really, it isn't such a good thing.

Basically a RN and i had to hold the lady's legs apart while the other RN put the catheter in. I understand it and I can see why we had to do but I really honestly struggled with it. Since the lady was kicking out and stuff, it felt like the patient didn't want the catheter. Now, realistically, the patient is so out of it she wouldn't have known.

I just didn't like the idea of having to force the patient to open her legs and then while we are in the middle of the procedure, two male doctors walked in!!!

I understand it all. The patient didn't know ... but I knew. And it just causes me to feel uneasy. :(

So, yeah. I love nursing but I have discovered that I just can't handle everything that nursing involves.

Thanks for letting me vent. Hope I didn't gross anyone out too much.

And yes, in case you aren't a nurse (student), appreciate the fact you don't have to hold a lady's legs open as part of your job!!!

But I did get to see a brain!!! :D Still on a high from that!! :D

I saw a brain!!!

2006-08-07T21:09:00.000-07:00

Dude!!

What an adventure!! I have been in theatre for the past two days for clinical and both days have ROCKED!!! :D

Today I was in an ENT surgery - that's ear, nose, throat theatre.

Basically, it wasn't overly exciting but it was still really really cool ... the dr was poking around up inside the guy's nose and cleaning out the sinuses etc. I had a great time. Everyone was so friendly, laughing, cracking jokes and just being crazy with each other which still be really serious about the care of the patient. Man, I want to be in a team like that. I have never been overly keen to work in theatre but I reckon I could do it if I got in on a great team like that!

So, I am having a great time and then, the dr starts pointing out where everything is on the inside - that's the eye and we are up in the nose canal etc. And that white stuff is the brain!!! DUDE!!

I SAW A BRAIN IN A LIVING PERSON!!! IT WAS SO COOL!!! :D

How many people can boast about that? :D

How do I describe what I just saw?

2006-08-07T00:49:00.000-07:00

Well, today I was in theatre and it was cool! Actually, it was really really cold! But apart from the temperature I enjoyed it tons! :D

Now, I was in the Plastics theatre and saw a face lift and a tummy tuck. Basically, I love anything that is blood and guts. I enjoy the cutting and the sucturing. I am strange, I know. I may do some theatre work one day but I love the interaction of the patients so much that most likely not! Anyway, waht I saw is so hard to describe!

Basicaly, the lady was having a post baby tummy tuck. So, all taht is really involved is the pulling down of the skin and stretching it and then sewing, right? WRONG!! What about the belly button?

What the drs did was cut the skin and the fat layer from the rest of the body - roughly half a circle and pulled back the skin. But before they pulled the skin back too far they cut around the belly button. Just disconnected the belly button from the skin and fat layers - it was still attached through nerves etc. And they they pulled the skin back and the belly button was actually inside - under the skin and fat layers!! DUDE!! :D

Anyway, they pulled the skin down, stretched it, cut it and went to stitch it. But before they could do the real stitching they had to cut a hole and pull the belly button through and stitch that up!!!! DUDE!! Then they did stitching and sucturing blood before finishing up!!!

My goodness!! It was an adventure and YES!! We have free pizza tonight and I am straving!! Something about tummy tucks just gets me hungry!!! :D

Enjoy!!

Employment!!!

2006-08-06T17:37:00.000-07:00

Well, i have spent the last couple of days working on my CV/resume/cover letter stuff and well, I am just a bit scared! It is all coming up ... so quick! It is unbelievable ... this time next year I will be a RN!!! Well, at least, I hope to be a RN!!!

(Shaz tells herself: Must not fail, must not fail!!)

I have enjoyed doing all this work stuff but the fact that I am starting to ACTUALLY apply to NEW GRADUATE POSITIONS etc. is just a bit overwhelming!!! :(

Ok, well, I need to go and prepare for clinical in theatre - just thought I would tell ya - I am feeling overwhelmed!! :D

Bye!

"My Sharona" ROCKS!!!

2006-08-06T02:44:00.000-07:00

Dude!!! Woohoo!!! :D lol! YES!!! WOW!!! :D (ok, how many times can I show you that I am really really excited at the moment?)

Well, I have had a pretty boring w/e and nothing really exciting has happened to me recently ... apart from the last five minutes!!! :D

Ok, I was watching 20 to 01 and it was all about Australia's top 20 one hit wonders. I don't normally watch this show but I was getting to see music videos so it was ok. The thought pasted my mind that "My Sharona" would get played ... I mean, everyone knows the song but who sung it again? :)

But as the numbers counted down and got to 2 I figured it just wasn't to be.

So, I got the shock of my life when "My Sharona" was number 1!!!!! :D
I banged on the wall to get Kylie Anne's attention and I was so excited! I have never seen the video clip so it was so cool to actually see it!! Some of the comments people said were "My Sharona reminds me of under age clubbing" and "The Knack were big ... well, My Sharona was, they could have been the next Beatles!!"

I am just so proud of that song!!

I know, it sounds sad and kinda lame but I am so glad my name is Sharona!!! :D

And, yes, I am making more out of this then there is but I did tell you that I had a boring weekend!! :D

Bye! :D

Hi everyone!!

2006-08-05T03:28:00.000-07:00

Oh my bloody goodness!!! I finally decide that it has been far too long since I posted (Feb actually!) and then tblog decides to muck up on me!!! So, that's it - I am posting on blogger instead!! :D

Well, it has been so long since I posted and so many things have happened it isn't funny!! :)

I will try and summarise EVERYTHING!!

- I turned 21!!! I had an awesome birthday - except of course that there was a bit of a car accident and we ended up spending 5hrs at the SAN ER but apart from all that stress etc. I had a great w/e!!
- Chris and Kris got married!!! It was so cool! I will post great pictures (and yes, I am going crazy wiht all the photos!!) I was stressed a lot (and it wasn't even my wedding) but it was so much fun. And there was so many people around. Kris' family came out for two weeks holiday before the wedding along with Jen (the other bridesmaid) and Brandon. And Ben Anderson flew over from NZ and mates from Brisbane and Melbourne and just everywhere awesome pp came from. It was cool having my family down and even my Grandma from QLD was able to fly down for the wedding!! It was stressful but so many great memories from when they were all here!! I loved it!!
- I went on a week long roadtrip with Brandon to Melbourne and Brisbane - so much fun. I thought I might start to drive him crazy and no matter how hard I tried, it didn't seem to work!! :D We went to the Great Ocean Road (that was so awesome!!), Glass House Mts, Lilydale church, Sizzlers, Brisbane Museum, Southbank, Kangaroo Pt for awesome OUTDOOR ROCKCLIMBING AT NIGHT (so cool!!) and managed to catch up with all our friends and family along the way!! So much fun!!
- Basicaly i know there was cool stuff that happened to me b4 the craziness of the wedding etc. but I can't seem to think of any of it right now except that I had an awesome birthday ... but some cool dudes said that I didn't actually ahve to write about stuff that happened to me ... I could just write random stuff ... so, here's to you, Adele and Jesus!! :D

Random stuff of late:
- I saw the coolest book on Mullets the other day - it went into detail about the history of mullets, the 10 worse crimes committed to mullets etc. etc. It was great!
- Also saw a cool book on Air Guitar - all the right positions, hand gestures, facial expressions - it reminded me of Taylor so much!!
- Found out some funky names from the rock climbing wall at Kangaroo Pt - like "Be a Robot for Jesus", "Rape at a church", "Quickie before dinner" strange stuff!
- I have gone straight from socialising tons to none at all and I feel like I have gone cold turkey with socialising! I am tired, restless, moody, hard to please, clingy (YUCKO), needy (YUCKO AGAIN!!) and just weird!! I miss my friends!! I do get to see them in five months or something which is really soon but I am just being strange due to COLD TURKEY!! :p
- I made scrambled eggs today and not one of them was bad (I thought of you, Brandon!) :D

Anyway, I POSTED!! :D And don't worry, i will post again .. and I won't wait something like six months before posting again .. maybe five!! :P

Bye!

Shaz!

Preparing for exams

2005-10-30T20:38:00.001-08:00

My semester’s exams start this week. And like every semester, I am not looking forward to them. My first exam involves spiritually caring for patients. It has been quite interesting taking this subject and looking back over my notes; not just because I find the subject content interesting but also because I can identify myself in regard to spiritual pain. Not now, of course. But in the past. Everyone experiences spiritual suffering so it isn’t like I am confessing some great sin. J And of course, I have not experienced spiritual suffering just the one time either. But one situation definitely stands out to me as I prepare for the exam. It involves my moving to the SAH as a requirement of my nursing course. I loved Avondale and the people there so much and I resisted moving. I hated it with every pore of my body. Those of you, who know me well, know that I do not cope well with change and I can really stick my heels in concerning my opinion of the change involved. If people disagree with my opinions I can become quite fundamental in my beliefs and I do let them know. It has happened a number of times in my life and it has never been the other person’s fault. L When I moved to the SAH, I wrote an article in the Voice (the student publication at Avondale). I was told by a number of my friends that it was well written and funny etc. It expressed how I felt about the SAN so I didn’t mind it being published. One small problem: I actually insulted all the males who I study with. Many months later, I have realised that these particular males are devoted to breaking out of the stereotypical mode of male nurses and are competitive and are intellectual. So for me to say that they are not real males, unworthy of our (females) time was a huge insult. I was even called out of the dorms one day to discuss the article with one of the males in my class. Basically, writing was a great way to express my feelings but the article resulted in me being isolated even more in this new, strange environment.

I decided to seek help from trusted friends in the year above me. Second years would have experienced exactly what I was going through and they survived, didn’t they? They were very friendly and allowed me to vent (yet again) and they actually recommended that I talk to some of our lecturers and the chaplain for a bit of educated assistance (sounds better than professional counselling, huh?). So I went to Miss X. Miss X is a really nice lady who always says hello and appears genuinely happy working at the SON SAH. I showed her my article and vented a little … and felt slapped in the face when she basically told me that in time I would feel better and that I would eventually get over my longing for Avondale!!!!

This made me long for Avondale even more. It has only been through returning to Avondale on weekends, having a different schedule than my friends at Avondale, having social dynamics alter at Avondale, and having extremely patient friends at the SAH, that I have eventually found a balance (of sorts) between Avondale and the SAH. The reason why this particular incident arises from within my memory’s filing system is that Miss X taught my spiritual care subject. And in the subject we were taught to not say “time heals all wounds” and we should pray with our patient and encourage them on their journey to accept the undesirable challenge which is before them.

So even though I have enjoyed the subject this past semester, there is a cynical side to my studies. I understand the theory and I respect it. But to see my teacher do the opposite in practice makes me sad.

Who knows, maybe I was so lost in my own self-pity and fundamental belief about the greatness of Avondale, that I failed to hear her words of wisdom and encouraging suggestions. I would like to think so. Because then I can attempt to have an elevated respect for both the subject content and the teacher.

Preparing for exams

2005-10-30T20:38:00.000-08:00

Shaz's visit to a home

2005-10-30T20:16:00.000-08:00

Shaz’s visit to a home

I am visiting a friend’s house.
I mean, I am visiting a friend’s home.
I walk in the door and am immediately greeted by her siblings and parents.
I sit down and notice the hand made cushion covers and the family photos on the wall.
I sit back and watch a movie; all the time observing how the siblings interact.
Later I assist the father with dinner; typical quick and easy food: pizza.
I notice the kitchen set out with the breakfast bar attached.
There is a cat that constantly walks between our legs until we feed her.
Everyone is comfortable in each other’s company; even to the extent of one brother telling the other that his fly is open.
After dinner, everyone is assigned chores; mine was wiping the clean dishes.
Then it was time to study and practice the piano.
The older brother is teaching the younger brother the piano.
Slowly the home shuts down for the night, with everyone going to their rooms to read, study, listen to music or play computer games.
Quiet reigns on my friend’s home.

Strange how everything that has happened throughout the evening has been so ordinary yet so odd.
I have been institutionalized for the past six years by boarding school and college dormitories, and whenever I go to a home I bask in the strangeness and the normalcy of it all.
My friend would find it all mundane, as you most likely to do too.
But to me, it is a brief but delightful taste of what my future home will be like; my future family; my future life.

In my future I will no longer have mass production of café food or recycled and reused decorations on the wall.
In my future I will no longer have the bathroom so far from bedroom or the laundry so far from the kitchen; every room will be right next door to each other.
In the future, I will live with my family; not a bunch of strangers or acquaintances.
In the future, I will have a dog who will keep the family and the home safe.
In the future, I will have a car and go where I want when I want.
In the future, I will look back on my time in institutions and long for the things I had then that I do not have now.

Oh, what to do, what to do!!

2005-09-27T17:43:00.000-07:00

This is really annoying. My blog site is being a pain in the butt. Ok, to be fair. It most likely isn't but the skill i have with computers is being able to type fast. So now that hte most simple thing as distrubed my blog site, I have no idea on how to fix it. Ah, but as least those passionate fans of blogger will be happy that I am posting more on this site now. So at least some people are happy. :P

Ok, so today is my assigned day off (of course, being available for work still) and I have so much to do: update all my emails/blogs to everyone, pack and shop for Big Camp (still am unsure of when I am leaving Sydney - Friday or Saturday - kinda stressful, because I need to clean the house and pack up all my stuff from the house before I leave and well, I just don't like knowing is all), having student dean meeting with heather, finish my employment paperwork at the SAH, have an assignment meeting and start my assignment that is due the next day that I get back from Big Camp, and just relax since it is my day off. :p Sounds like fun.

I went to the movies last night with Mel and Daniel Bell. We had Thai first. Yummy. And then we went and saw Wallace and Gromit - Curse of the Wererabbit. It was really good. The wordplays, the small details in the background, the storyline. It was good. I wasn't totally into it last night as I was super tired and getting sick. But there were some really good things about it. For instance: one of the main characters is knocking on the vicar's door and saying: where the devil is he? and when too characters are debating they are positioned in a way that one looks like an angel and the other a devil. And some of the play on words. It is an English teacher's dream come true in some places. :D Well done.

I don't really have much news except taht I nearly blew up some boss' vacuum cleaner. :p Yesterday I worked for 7hrs cleaning 3 different flats. And anyone in one of them I was vaccuming under the bed and a plastic bag got caught on the nozzle thing and started to burn. To have smoke coming out of a vaccum cleaner is not a pleasant experience. I went and got the man of the house and we checked it out. It was fine but still scary. :(

Ok, enough of just ordinary everyday sort of stuff on this blog. It is time for some real SHAZ ADVICE!!! Are you ready? Are you sure? Can you handle it? Are you sure? Ok, here it is: never, and I mean, NEVER leave home without your … TOOTHBRUSH!!! Ok, the reason why I know this is because I did it. Ok, let me explain, last night after the movie and work, I was too beat to catch public transport back home etc. so I decided to stay in my room at the Res. I had left my toothbrush at the house, though. Since I didn’t want to go to bed without cleaning my teeth, I decided to use some gargle liquid to have a fresh breath and to reach those hard to reach places. Anyway, after doing this and thinking myself so clever, I hopped into bed. Straight away I sneezed. The aftertaste and the strong all mighty gargle liquid fumes went straight up my nasal passage. Ah, burning!!! OUCH!!! Not nice … and I have a cold!! L Go ahead and laugh (even if it is just that I have written this long paragraph all on toothbrushes) but listen to my advice: just don’t leave home without your toothbrush. :P
And so with that note, I will say goodbye.

I'm back!!!

2005-04-25T05:54:00.000-07:00

It is high time I stopped neglecting this blogsite. I mean, I went to all the event of creating it and making it different from the Sharona Tree one that I should really use this one. Ok, here goes nothing:

I love movies. I love all movies. Ok, not all, but I can watch basically anything. I love watching movies that I get something out of: not just entertainment but stimulating phisophical theories. So, I thought I would do movie reviews on this blogsite. Or maybe music reviews or just plain reviews on stuff that is going on around me. Let's give this a go.

Movie: Man on Fire
Ok, I was deterred from this movie because someone had said that the violence factor was just too much. The reason why I listened was because this person appears to watch a number of violent movies so I just concluded that this movie must be really bad and I didn't want to watch it. But the other night we watched it (I had my friends with me just in case, which was great). Ok, yeah, there is one or two scenes which are a bit disturbing but it wasn't that bad.

The first half hour or so is building a relationship between this hardered retired assasion turned bodyguard and the little girl who he is protecting. This is the sweetest part of the movie and I think it was done quite well. It was strange, because I just didn't want it to end. I wonder if that was because I knew there violence and unsweet stuff coming?

I will try not to ruin the story for you but the little girl gets kidnapped and the bodyguard goes in search for her and revence. The determination to do anything and to go to any means to find her is remarkable. His informant also went to extreme measures to get information and she hadn't even meet the little girl. I was just amazed. This little girl had taught the bodyguard how to live, how to laugh, how to love again. And now that she was missing, he would do anything to get her back.

Ok, ok, I realise that it is just a movie and they are just acting, but I think there is characteristics in both people that we can learn from. Learning how to live and be happy and then teaching those around us. Learning how to love and teaching those around to love. And when things get tough, we do everything we can for the people we care for (of course, the means and methods that the bodyguard uses I wouldn't promote). But also, we need to be careful not to care too much or go so far or else we can damage ourselves. A nice balance is needed and I guess we all need to discover the appropriate balance for ourselves.

Anyway, that was the conculsion I got from Man on Fire. Watch it, it is great. A bit of a teary one, too, in places. :)

Stay tuned for the next review

Roger Waters' Best

2005-01-10T02:50:00.000-08:00

Ok, time for my favourite of Roger Waters: (please excuse the satire) Enjoy

IN THE FLESH
So Ya
Thought ya
Might like to go to the show
To feel the warm thrill of confusion
That space cadet glow
I've got some bad news for you sunshine
Pink isn't well he stayed back at the hotel
And they sent us along as a surrogate band
And we're going to find out where you fans really stand
Are there any queers in the theatre tonight?
Get 'em up against the wall
There's one in the spotlight
He don't look right to me
Get him up against the wall
That one looks Jewish
and that one's a coon
Who let all this riff raff into the room
There's one smoking a joint
And another with spots
If I had my way I'd have all of you shot

My latest craze

2004-12-16T18:46:00.000-08:00

Ok, while I was in Melbourne I brought Roger Waters The Wall Concert Live in Berlin. I love it. It is tons of fun - they rebuild the wall and knocked it down and have inflatables and a trail scene etc. The only special event that the DVD doesn't have are subtitles for the concert (you can laugh at me; it is okay). Sometimes I don't understand 100% what the DVD is saying so I sometimes like subtitles. Well, due to the lack of them I decided to look them up. I found one that I really liked. I remember Dad playing it a lot back home and I think it is one of his favourites :) It is called Perfect Sense Part II

Can't you see
It all makes perfect sense
Expressed in dollars and cents,
Pounds, shillings and pence
Can't you see
It all makes perfect sense
Little black soul departs in perfect focus
Hold on soldier
Prime time fodder for the News at Nine
Hold on, hold on soldier
Darling is the child warm in the bed tonight
[Marv Albert:] Hi everybody I'm Marv Albert
And welcome to our telecast
Coming to you live from Memorial Stadium
It's a beautiful day
And today we expect a sensational matchup
But first our global anthem
Can't you see
It all makes perfect sense
Expressed in dollars and cents,
Pounds, shillings and pence
Can't you see
It all makes perfect sense
[Marv:] And here come the players
As I speak to you now, the captain
Has his cross hairs zeroed in on the oil rig
It looks to me like he's going to attack
By the way did you know that a submarine
Captain earns 200,000 dollars a year
[Edward:]That's less tax Marv
[Marv:]Yeah, less tax
Thank you Edward
[Edward:]You're welcome
[Marv:]Now back to the game...he fires one...yes
There goes two; both fish are running
The rig is going into a prevent defense
Will they make it? I don't think so
Can't you see
It all makes perfect sense
Expressed in dollars and cents,
Pounds, shillings and pence
Can't you see
It all makes perfect sense
Can't you see
It all makes perfect sense

I hope you enjoyed and got it.

Your Blue Nurse

Blog Warming Party

2004-12-15T01:55:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone,

Well, yes, since it is the holidays I thought I would get a new blog happening. You know, a change is as good as a holiday. Ok, the main reason is that I couldn't comment on Taylor's blog unless I had the same blog account thingy. I am sure if I tried hard enough I could have figured it out or contacted someone who knew more about blogs or even just sent the comments to Taylor's email address ... but really, why not just have another blog? Tons of other people seem to be able to manage two so I am sure I can too.

My plan is maybe, my original blog will continue to be where I put all the latest news and goss and long blogs and this new Blue Nurse blogsite will be for photos and jokes and forwards and other things that I didn't write myself. At least this is the plan. Who knows, this may change in the future.

So welcome to the blog warming party. Walk around, check out the sites, help yourself to the refreshments and enjoy yourself.

Your Blue Nurse